A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So, I was dating this guy we will call X. X and I were very much engrossed in one another throughout our relationship. We were always hanging off of each others every word (and each others faces) and never stopped talking even though it was a long distance relationship.Well, long story short, the distance got to us. I got fed up, he got fed up and we decided that because we care about each other so much but don't get to see each other as often as we both need to be in a successful relationship that we wouldn't be in one, we would be just friends. Along with that we both had some soul searching to do, but that is another long, treacherous story entirely.Now, we do still hang out. We see each other somewhat more often now being it is summer but we aren't 'together'. Every time we see each other though X and I get carried away and end up acting like we're dating the entire time we're together.X makes me so happy. He understands me,, we have so much in common, we have such a good time together and if it weren't for the distance (coupled with a few personal issues) we would work just amazingly. I know it isn't just me who feels this way, or at least it doesn't seem that way from how he acts. Any time I'm with him he's always kissing me and saying how cute and pretty I look (not just sexual things). Any time I jokingly walk away from him pretending to be angry he chases after me. I could list dozens of sweet things he does that indicate he isn't just in it for the physical aspect of things.But I don't know what to say. It seems like we're both happier with each other now that the whole 'bf/gf' thing isn't suffocating us and we still get our time together and have fun. I feel like down the line I'll want more though... right now I'm completely content but who's to say how I'll feel a month from now?Oh, I just don't know. I don't want to mess up what we have but I feel like I'm balancing myself on a pin, trying not to be overly attached and not seem too distant at the same time. Any thoughts? Help?Thanks for reading
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is two years older than me, but where I am I am above the age of consent so legal matters are of no issue.
And I know that now we would work well because we've both worked through our own personal issues (I'm getting help with my depression, he with his anxiety) and other than feeling awful about the distance we get along amazingly.
We have discussed planning to be together later in life... he keeps saying that he knows the more he's around me the more when we're older he will want to marry me. We don't get caught up in jealousy anymore...
And as for your concerns about my sexual activity, I use the NuvaRing and we always use protection. I have no intentions of getting pregnant.
For now though we're both young and don't know what we want other than the comfort of having each other right now... so I guess I have my answer. I'll just take the punches as they come.
Thanks to both of you for your time and input.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 How do you know that if it weren't for the distance you'd work amazingly ? You'd still have the personal issues, to contend with.
And anyway, it's like you were saying , if I were 6'4" tall, I could be a basketball champion. Perhaps. But you are NOT 6'4".
It is what it is. Some times ( very often ,in fact ) trying to bend the circumstances to our wishful thinking is a big waste of time.
If you feel able to enjoy your liaison in the moment, as a sweet but temporary gift of the present, go ahead. But if there is any chance you are gonna get caught up in longing and missing and jealousy and drama... do yourself a favour and let go now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): How old is he is he older than you, you are too young to be fooling around frankly do I hope you are not/were not having sex.
Sorry to sound like your grandma, but really this is either a foolish liason or you both need to make a future plan and stick to it, such as working towards a career each that has you in the same city having a workable life 1-2 years from now or if you are studying you can look at those options too. If you can not imagine ever doing this together in future then there is your answer, there is no relationship potential and you are indeed using each other. If you can imagine a realistic chance of making a life together work then you could both start planning now.
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