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We freeze up and don't know how to talk to eachother in person!

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 August 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 23 August 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, *ollins27023 writes:

hello all.

i have a beautiful, smart funny and sexy girlfriend and i couldn't be happier its just when we meet up in real life we sometimes freeze. we find it hard to communicate to one another when together but online we chat for hours. i don't know why its happening but we both agree that its hard but we don't know what to do about it. what do you suggest i do and what do you think might be causing it?

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A male reader, collins27023 United Kingdom +, writes (23 August 2010):

collins27023 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

collins27023 agony auntthank you guys, i will defiantly try some of that, i talked to her to see what she loves to do and it seems wve got a day planned out, bike riding then off to swimming and for a grande finale cinema so its all good. thank you but feel free to add more suggestions coz im an open guy

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A female reader, SueZ Australia +, writes (23 August 2010):

Hey, use your online communications to plan dates that will be really fun...

Say.. ( my taste may not be yours - but) go bike riding, or play a computer game together at the arcade...

The great thing is that you can find out what each other likes and plan it on line and then really just relax and enjoy the fun... that will loosen you guys up and before you know it you will be chatting away face to face ;-)

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A female reader, Duckyhelp United Kingdom +, writes (23 August 2010):

Duckyhelp agony auntThats what me and my boyfriend were like when we first met yearly a year ago! We were such good friends online and found it hard to talk to each other in person for 3 months! If you really spend time with each other, maybe go do something which she is interested in and then she can explain to you why she likes it and its nice, or go to the movie where its all in the dark, you can hold her hand (she will want it so dont be scared to) the more you guys are closer the easier it is to talk, like hugging and kissing, this builds confidence and you wont be so shy towards each other. Me and my boyfriend would spend all day together in silence basicaly through rain and snow! Its worth it in the end, dont give it just cause they are shy.

When you both open up it will seem silly that you guys never spoke in the first place!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010):

Yeah. Back when I was your age we didn't have internet so face to face interaction with people was much more common. In fact we didn't even have cellphones. My friends used to knock at my window or randomly show up at my house or spots around our town that we knew we might be at to try to find one another. We used to just meet people out on the town, through friends, etc. It was good times. Nowadays, alot of kids communicate via internet. I mean nowadays people meet each other on Match.com lol. I am in my late 20's and I have facebook and stuff but I prefer one on one contact with people. Its way more interesting.

Don't know if you will take it, but my advice is stop communicating via internet and try using the phone so you can actually hear each other talk and try face to face interaction more. You need to learn to be comfortable in your own skin and not hide behind a computer. When you interact with people via computer you can be having a normal conversation with that person, meanwhile you are naked, could be scarfing down a hot dog like a pig, picking your nose and nobody would know because you are all by yourself having some virtual interaction with another person. That's not normal. And see the consequence is that when you are face to face you don't even know how to act or what to say. You need to learn to interact with other people and get out there and retrain yourself to be a part of society and not somebody by himself interacting infront of a computer.

I feel bad that your generation has had to miss out on the wonder that real interaction is because of information technology but it is a matter of retraining yourself. So get off the computer and get out there and learn how to adapt to real life circumstances! You can do it!

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A female reader, BleedingHeartsBaby United Kingdom +, writes (23 August 2010):

Maybe it would be better if you were friends?

You say that you talk great online, maybe your girlfriend is self concious or worried about wha people who see you together and what they might think.

Im not saying break up with her, but maybe you should concider being friends or try and talk about it and figure a way around it.

My friends boyfriend kept saying that he loved her and it made her feel awkward and embarrassed. Maybe you could try talking to her like she was one of your friends and it might make you feel more comfortable around her. Or you could go to the cinema together, you'll both be interested in the movie and there will be no awkward silences.

Hope i helped, Good luck xxx

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