A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi.I recently split up with my boyfriend of some time. He gave me the reason that he was suffering with a great deal of jealousy over my friendships with other people and the fact that we had never had the kind of relationship I have with my friends.This wasn't due to want of me trying.I talked to him about everything, but often he didn't seem interested in what I had to say, I'd involve him in all my decisions but didn't get the same treatment back, and so on.He recently joked about us getting married, and doing it all right, regularly told me he loved me and how much I meant to him, and how glad he was id been around in the last year to see him through some of the problems hes been through, then only a few days later he was telling me we needed to put a hold on things because he couldn't handle it anymore.Since then hes told me he feels really bad about it all, still talks to me like we are together, and has told his friends similar. I dont understand, at all, and I don't know what to think. My self esteem, self confidence and self worth is on the floor as a result of his out of the blue decision, and I cant help but think hes played me for a bit of a fool. I don't know if he did mean it was just a break, or we are splitting up for good, and I don't really see that his so called reasons are very legitimate and its driving me up the wall. My friends and family keep telling me to just try and pretend i dont care and get on with my life, and go out and stuff to increase my confidence. and although I can talk to him and be very casual about the whole thing and have managed not to reveal how upset I really am I am still devestated about the whole thing as I do really care about this man, deeply and have done for a long time and cant get the fact it ended so suddenly and out of the blue out my head.
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female
reader, anoddchild  +, writes (14 December 2007):
Don't talk to this guy anymore. It seems pretty clear that he is messing with you. Relationships are a two-way street, and it sounds like you've been pulling a lot of weight by yourself. You deserve to have a boyfriend who gets along with your friends. It seems like this guy is manipulative and I would just say stay away. Why would you want a guy back who treats you like that and makes you feel miserable? You should be HAPPY in a relationship.
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