A
female
age
51-59,
*sunshine0424
writes:we have been married for 17 yrs and i was an alcoholic and he was a drug addict(wont admit it). after he was caught and spent 3 yrs in prison he was still abusive and i still drank. we split up for 11 mo. then got back together. things were ok but not great. he started anger management classes and ive been in alcohol classes now for 8 mo. he took up golf and left early every morning and didnt return til dark. now my son has started hunting and my husband has joined him (which is great). hes never spent time with either of our 2 kids or me. now he leaves every morning @ 4 and may return @ 8 or 9. we rarely talk and seldom touch unless its a quicky. i thought about waiting til our kids were out of the house. they are 15 and 17. HELP
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): Above all well done for how you are doing in the classes....
Try not to worry too much he is probably dealing with things by occupying and immersing himself in whatever it is he is doing. TIME BE PATIENT AND CONCENTRATE ON YOU AT THE MOMENT STRESS FREE. Good Luck
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (26 October 2008):
Gosh this is not exactly ideal is it?
Have you spoken to him about spending more time with you and the kids?
Why not just announce that you are organising a family day out to the beach / camping in the woods / theme park / whatever, and that it will be NEXT SATURDAY and he has to cancel any plans so he can be there.
If he has a time and date and activity to attend then he might be more happy to do that rather than just being told to vaguely "spend time at home with us"
If he doesn't turn up and come out with you then I think it is safe to say that he has no interest in the marriage and your kids.
If he does then get him to help out planning for next week. make one day a week a family day and organise something nice to do even if it's just something cheap and indoors.
You can also organise dates for yourself and him, arrange for your son to baby sit and then you and your hubbie can go out and see a film or have a nice meal and spend some time alone.
Don't give him a choice, just tell him when and where to be as it is happening.
Good Luck!! xx
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