A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:we are always having fights together over small problems like 4 days in a row. it is so common that I can not say for sure if I love my gf anymore. i don't know if i should pause and work on our relationship for some more time or prepare for a breakup.
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female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (23 January 2011):
You could discuss taking a break from the relationship so you can cool off and analyze the situation when you're calmer and less emotional. During this break you could try to figure out if there's ways to resolve your conflicts, or not. Sometimes you get caught in a vicious cycle of conflict and fighting where every small thing triggers something else, and taking a break could be like a time-out to let everyone calm down and become rational again.
A
female
reader, Heartachenomore +, writes (23 January 2011):
I fee like that's how my boyfriend feels like... We fight alot to and are trying to deal with it. I really don't know what you consider small issues but it really all depends on the situation. Sometimes like in my case I tell him something because I'm wondering and worried and that can lead to a fight but other times it's Coz I nag him because I want his attention and I know that's the worst way to go about it but it comes off like that and we fight.. Sometimes it could be because she kinda feels like you don't pay as much attention to her as you use to and that can cause a fight. All in all it really comes down to are you fighting about where you placed the remote or are you still attracted to me kind of deal. If it's the remote then ya I consider that pretty bad and you guys need to recheck your priorities but if it's the other she just might be feeling like your not as into her as u use to be and she still loves you but wants you to show her not just assume that you do since your with her. cant say I'm any expert Coz I'm going through one myself but I hope it helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): I was in the exact same situation you were in. However, I was the girlfriend. What I can point out though...was that in that relationship, I wasn't happy and neither was he. We fought so much, became so incompatible that we basically started tearing each other apart. Your question was whether you should work on it or break up, right? Think of it this way, if you're the only one working on something that's evidently both of your faults...will it ever be fixed? Will it ever feel like you guys are equal? If you work on the relationship, you'll tend to bend yourself in order to satisfy her and make her happy so that you're no longer fighting. But will that satisfy /you/? Personally, when I was in this situation, I 'worked at it.' I tried to change myself to make him happy because I didn't want to lose him. And in the end, it didn't work. No one can change their personalities and frankly, no one should have to. Looking back at it now, me doing everything I did wasn't worth it. I should have stepped back ages ago instead of making myself feel even /worse/ by trying for so hard and so long.Another way to look at it is: You guys obviously weren't arguing like cats and dogs at the beginning of the relationship, what happened? Good luck, xxoo
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