A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I was the victim of a "player". That's how it started out. Then he got another girlfriend, and I was hurt. Instead of allowing myself to continue the hurt, I decided to play him back and did back to him all the rotten things he did to me. Like, I flirted with other guys, ignored and avoided him, then got myself a boyfriend. Now there is sexual tension between us which seems to have escalated over the past several months (he and I didn't ever have sex but we were working up to it til his girlfriend came along). What started out to be a game has escalated to serious stuff cause he's angry and upset that I have a boyfriend now. He and I, strangely enough, don't talk but there's alot of non-verbal communication, as we work at the same place 5 days/week. I don't know what to do, if anything. I'm at my wits end! Seems to me we need to talk. We each feel rejected by the other so neither of us want to make the first move verbally. I really want this guy despite that I have a boyfriend, and he's left me with the impression that he wants me too. Good grief, this is awful! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeez, HELP !!!!! Is there something he needs to hear from me?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 October 2008):
 You are using your new boyfriend in a most despicable way. Show him a little respect and break up. He's a person not a pawn.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, All, and thanks sooooo much for all your advice. It seems like my guy and I working our way back to each other. His current g/f sees that he and I really are attracted to each other and it appears she backing out of the picture. However, I just started with this new b/f, and we agreed on no strings attached and no jealousy. Should I keep dating him until I'm more certain about my guy? It's my new b/f that made my guy want to pursue me again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2008): Careful! He may think this is from a secret admirer who is not you. His ego may lead him down this path! In which case you might stray even further from his thoughts. Maybe a slightly more direct approach would be better e.g. an e-mail with a read receipt thingy attached saying very simply 'We need to talk.'. Don't send a long e-mail. Engage his curiosity. Just those four words needed. Nothing more. Good luck! Fifthquadrant
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat an excellent idea, qcumbr1, but I'm sooooooo nervous about making the first move cause I'm shy around him! And I wonder if he would show the note to anyone - nervous about that at work although it would be HIS car. I guess if he would show the note and I would get questioned by boss then I would deny it.And to "anonymous", so is it my assumption that he tries to get my attention (by tapping me on the shoulder) when I'm talking with my boyfriend, he winks and smiles at me everytime he's around me (except on a day when he knows I went off in a private setting with my boyfriend, then he acts angry and avoids me), and I'm under his surveillance when we're at work??!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThinking about drawing a heart on paper and putting it under his car windshield - this should break the ice and open my door, then the next move should be his. He'll know who it's from. What do you think?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2008): Depends from what you want from this guy? sex, well you make the first move. A relationship? Well If I was you, I would wait for him to make the first move. You have no ideal what's going on inside his mind
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2008): "What started out to be a game has escalated to serious stuff cause he's angry and upset that I have a boyfriend now." Is this merely your assumption, or do you know through word of mouth that he is angry and upset? If this is merely your assumption then there's the possibility that you need him but he does not need you. In other words you could be in denial here. Just because he is ignoring you does not mean that he wants to have sex with you. Could just mean that, honey, he does not actually fancy you. I'm just trying to put this from his perspective since there is an element of doubt here in my mind as to whether he actually fancies you. This sexual tension could therefore all be in your mind/loins. Please clarify. Good luck!
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