I love him very much, but I don't know what he is thinking.

A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I had a boyfriend("A") for the last 7 months until a week ago. He told me he wanted to remain friends while he still had feelings for me, he said that love was a strong word, and that he wasn't sure about what he wanted. Anyways, a few days ago our friend ("B") sent him a message around 2am that "I wouldn't put out and that they should make out with my friends" I didn't know about it. Around 5am I got online to check my e-mails before heading to work. "A" didn't say hi or anything, he copy pasted what "B" had said to him and asked me what was all that about. I told him I didn't know and probably "B" was joking around, like he always does. "A" said "hah, ok" and didn't talk to me until 3 days after that. He sent me a message online again, about my workplace around 2am. I was sleeping because I had to go to work early in the morning next day. When I woke up I went to check my e-mail and saw the messages he had left there for me to read, but I thought he was sleeping so I went to take a shower. When I returned "A" told me I could just ignore him since he knew I was online already. I explained to him that I had gone to take a shower but he said that he was angry because I had ignore his messages all night long. I told him, I didn't message him in the morning because I thought he was sleeping. He then told me that I should know better than that, and that I should've left a message for him. He said something else and I responded with a "Uh.. yeah, well I don't know anymore" then "A" said to me "good, dumb bitch, I hate you, fuck off" I then asked him why he was in a bad mood and he said that it was due to our friend "B", then he apologized for calling me those things. Our friend "B" then talk to him later, he told "A" that I cry to sleep because of him, and that I want "A", I told "A" that "B" was lying, so "A" got upset "I just love how quick you are to change your mind about me, you just don't care" I told him I miss him and I still care for him, he said to me that he fucks things up all the time, that he can't get over me either. So I had to go to work and left, today we talked but he was all irritated and told me he was going to go because he wasn't feeling alright. I just don't know what it is going on. He says he is depressed and that even if he is acting this way with me, he still likes me. But really, it is hard to believe that when he is being so mean to me lately after he broke up with me. I told him he didn't have to talk to me anymore if he didn't want to, but he says he wants to. He gets mad if I ignore him, he gets mad if I start talking about love and depressing stuff, if I am happy and trying to pretend that I don't care that he dumped me, he thinks I never cared. What am I doing wrong? what is he really trying to tell me? I don't know what else to do. I am scared to talk to him about "us", I love him very much, but I don't know what he is thinking. I am so worried, I don't even know if its my fault anymore. He says he didn't want to commit anymore, but he gets so apprehenssive with me as a friend even more so than when we were actually dating.

View related questions: broke up, depressed, workplace

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A male reader, yogosun  +, writes (11 October 2008):

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