A
female
age
30-35,
*rincess166
writes:i've been seeing a guy for 8 months now. he was the one doing the chasing all along. we talk everyday, see eachother weekdays and weekends, basically act like boyfriend and girlfriend.hes met my family and i've met his family and friends and we know eachother well. he got out of a 6 yr relationship about a year ago and he told me he promised himself he'd never have a girlfriend again. he says he cant be bf gf bcause he is afraid of hurting my feelings.which i think is untrue. also iam the opposite of his ex, she is blonde tall and iam petite and asian.why would he be chasing me/asking me out if he wouldnt want a girlfriend?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2010): Just because you look different doesnt mean you really are different. He might have said he'll never get a gf again, which is probably not going to be true, but it is true that RIGHT NOW he does not see himself being with a girl again for at least... I dont know, maybe 2-3 years in the future. Maybe even 5 years. Or maybe just until he meets the right girl for him. You are not that girl.Get over him, and tell him to stop flirting with you unless he wants a relationship.
A
female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (10 February 2010):
Honey, he told you at some point he never wanted to have a GF again. Why didn't you listen to that? Your guy has commitment issues and he was honest about that.
I think if you want a BF then you have to stick to your guns and be honest about that. We women do this, we are not honest about what we really want. We daydream that if they just spend enough time with us they will fall for us like some fairy tale.
If you really want a committed relationship then be honest about that. Tell him you really care about him, but that you want a committed relationship in your life and while you completely understand and accept that he doesn't want that, that you hope he understands that you are going to date other guys in pursuit of what you want and need. And you may need to let him go and do just that.
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