A
male
age
51-59,
*andojr
writes:I met a girl that was introduced to me by someone that had been trying to do so for a few months. I always avoided meeting her because I knew she was fresh out of a relationship, but I finally agreed to meet her after about three months. Even before I met her, anytime I would see her, she would stir something inside me. I thought she was just perfect. The day I met her my heart was literally pounding. She had the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen.Three days later I asked her out and she said yes. We talked everyday a couple times a day and would see each other on the weekends. I felt like things were going really well. She mentioned she wanted to take things slow which I thought was a good idea. After several dates she took me out for my birthday to a very nice restaurant and even bought me a rather expensive cologne. This made me very happy. I sent her a boquet of flowers the next day as a thank you. That night we came back to my place and had sex and also had sex the next day. By this time we had been seeing each other and talking everyday for about three weeks. During that week and even before she had hinted that she liked surprises and I knew she had wanted me to stop by her job because we worked really close to each other,but I guess I was too busy to. I really regret it now. Later that week she came over my place again and we had sex. She seemed very happy and during all this time we talked several times a day on the phone. Later that week she called me from a number I did not recognize, so I asked her what number she was calling from and she told me she changed her number. I asked why. She said someone had been calling her and that she would tell me later. I didn't want to pressure her, so I said ok, but in my mind I assumed it was an ex she was getting rid of because she had decided I was the one she wanted in her life. Later that day we spoke again and she began to tell me how much she missed me and thinks about me and that she wants me all to herself and that she was even thinking about the last time we were together sexually. She also asked me if I thought about her and I told her I thought about her from the moment I woke up til the moment I went to bed and that I was crazy about her.We made plans to see each other that night and I waited for her til about 9pm and decided to call and leave a message. She did not return my call. I decided to let her be the next day and see if she would call me and she didn't, so I called her the following day and left a message letting her know I wanted to see how she was doing and hoping she was ok. She called me the next day in the evening. When I asked her what had happened she told me she had complications in her life and sounded a bit sad. I asked her if she wanted to talk about it and she just said she'd tell me about it someday. Again, I didn't want to pressure her because I thought she had taken a few days to figure out some things with the ex.The next day I called her in the morning to check on her and she didn't answer and didn't call me back. I waited the entire week to see if she'd call and she didn't, so I called and left her a message. She still didn't call back. A month passed and I had to stop by her office and make a payment because I'm a customer there. I went in and one of the girls that works there received my payment. I know she knew I was there, but she didn't even come out to say hello. WHen I left I called to wish her a happy holidays, but did not get a call back. The only thing I could think of is that the person she changed her number for convinced her to go back with him. She never gave me any explanation and just dissapeared. I don't plan on calling her again, but really feel hurt. Eventhough I only knew her for a month, she was everything I had always looked for. This has never happened to me. I feel like she took the cowards way out by dissapearing. She could have at least been honest with me about what was happening instead of leaving me to wonder. Now I feel like maybe this was all part of her plan. I'm just really confused. I don't think someone could act being so genuine for an entire month.Anyone care to share their opinion?
View related questions:
flowers Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ZETACC  +, writes (8 December 2010):
I know how your feeling, being ignored is the worst thing . although in a different situation i have just passed . my bf one fine day decided not to call again without no reason at all. these kind of people doesnt know that what goes around comes around and how to respect people in their lives . forget her as how i am trying to do . you realize by time that she wasnt worth it
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): People like her aren't wrapped tight for a lot of different reasons and it's rare that lives are chaos free. I suggest you like her from a distance and not give her further consideration. People like her like dirt devils that vacumn up and destroy anything and anyone that's in their path. Date other girls who have their heads on straight and feet planted on the ground. Happy dating chap.
...............................
A
male
reader, mandojr +, writes (4 December 2010):
mandojr is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your comments. It seems like I was on the right track with what I was thinking, but I guess I'll never know for sure. Even after the time that has passed I still feel dissapointed. She really made it seem like she wanted to start a relationship and would say things like "we are now in the honeymoon phase" and would also talk of future plans. I know I need to drop it but it's really tough. Thanks again for sharing your opinions.
...............................
A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (4 December 2010):
if you want something so bad set it free if it comes back to you it is yours but if it didnt it simply never meant to we know what the pain feels likebut cutting her off your life is the best decision atleast for the momentif you got over herand loved someone else it would very very good for youbut if she returned to you while you are still inlove with hermake her return difficult for so she would know that playing with yor feelings well heart her aswelland if she'd come back tell her that you need to know exactly and in details why did she do what she has doneand that she should have the manner to tell you that she wants to break up instead of doing it in this coward wayGood Luck
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): Hate to tell ya bro but baby don't have baggage she got luggage.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): ~DEJA VU~
I have travelled your road before...over and over and over and time again...with ONE PERSON.
As a matter of fact, I literally just had the inevitable repeat just moments ago...
I have tolerated it for so long, because I truly am in love with her...to the point where I have refrained from allowing another woman to get too close to me...BUT...I would be a complete fool to allow my ex back into my life...even as just a friend...because I lead a calm, quiet, peaceful, loving life and she disrupts that whenever she re-enters my life. I have friends...and they are nothing like her. So I told her tonight to stay out of my life and I mean it...I do not hate her nor am I angry with her...I just can't allow her toxicity into my world.
I even recently cut a dear friend out of my life, who wanted a romantic relationship with me...but I could not give her the type of love, affection and devotion that she is deservant of because my heart and head is still with my ex...AND she knew this from day one and all throughout. We are still friends however...but I will never allow her to be my rebound...We were never sexual.
I am a very selfless person, and because of this I know it's better that we not even be friends as I am a very different woman now and will never again her or any other woman to treat me as her door mat or play childish games with my life and mind at her leisure...popping in and out purely to sabbotage or get a nut from feeling like she still has some type of control...I don't know...but what I do know is my tolerance for her behavior has gone.
I love her unconditionally but not to a point where her presencer in my life poisons me with toxin, hence taking aweay from my health and happiness...something that will render me even capable of expressing what I'm molded of...LOVE.
I know who I am..I am proud of who I am...I know what I want...and I know what I don't want.
So you too should walk this way...If she doesn't have enough respect and consideration for herself or you to even consider how she will effect you by simply disappearing...than just let it be...because life is too short to hasten it with toxin.
Sweetie what matters most is that you focus on you and dismiss issues or people who only exist to try to take you down...That's their misery to deal with..not yours.
Live, Love and Laugh.
God Bless.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 December 2010):
 I don't think she had planned it in advance. Some people can be very fickle and impulsive. She probably had unfinished business with er ex when she met you. She must have liked you and thought she'd give it a try.
Then probably she went back to er ex, or simply decided she did not want a relationship, and ,like you say, she took the coward's way out. She could have at least been honest with you...but she did not, because a lot of people dislike having to deal with the hurt they have caused, and/or fear being called out on their bullshit.
...............................
|
