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male
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anonymous
writes: ok, so i live with this girl, right? which complicates things a lot. she's a good friend of mine, but a little over a week ago we crossed over the friendship barrier and she cheated on her boyfriend with me. we decided time apart was the best thing for us so we could get over our feelings for each other and get things back to normal. so she's been staying over at his place 99% of the time so no more hookups can occur. well, we took time away for a while, but recently we've been hanging out again, and i feel like there's still a lot of feelings and sexual tension there between us. but i don't think we can communicate it to each other because we both said that we didn't want anything to come of it. plus, we're roommates, so if one of us feels one way, and the other doesn't, it could potentially be really bad. i feel like even despite the time away, we still want each other. but i'm not sure. i don't know if i'm reading the signs right. for instance, today, she came home this morning, woke me up, and we took our dogs for a walk (we both have dogs). when we came back, she asked if i wanted to go get breakfast with her. so i said sure. when we came back home from eating, i plopped down on her bed and she laid down beside me. she was supposed to go over to her boyfriend's place and check on his dogs while he was at work, but she didn't go. and she was supposed to be at work, but she wasn't. she just stayed there with me on the bed. we talked for a while about lots of different things, and i think she was waiting for me to make a move, but i'm not sure. how can i tell? i was terrified because i like her so much. anyway, we wound up just falling asleep on her bed, and took a nap together. then she woke up and just left. i was still asleep. but what should i think of all this? help me out! what can i do? is that normal? we can't talk about it. it's too hard.
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female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (29 July 2006):
 I think that's real love, I am afraid to tell you that the best thing would be to talk to her in a way that she doesn't stress as she may feel guilty beacause of her boyfriend and maybe still attached to him in some way. I think you should both consider it is worth trying a relationship together. Nap together proves it is real love not just quick sex, her boyfriend could be told she just needs time to make up her mind as it would be hard for him to know the true straightahead.Best wishesAstrid
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