We can't stand each other but I'm addicted to him

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have known this guy for a year and a half now, we've been going as a couple well we suppose to! Anyway during our relationship we broke up so many countless times, we have an arguement or something over very meaningless stuff and then we break up! When I first met this guy he seemed cool, he told me he had 2 major problems in his life, one he didnt have a job (but was looking for one) and that he wasn't confident as much as he used to be. Although he went to university and has a degree he seems a very lazt guy and doesn't want to get off his ass. He's well spoken and seems to be intellegent guy because he knows so much. Because of his circumstances of not having a job, I became the main contacter of the relationship calling him texting him because he never had credit. Although it's gonna be almost 2 years Ive been with him I ask myself the question 'What do I even like about him?'. I really and truly love him and am mad about him, but am certain he doesn't feel the same way. Me and him we have nothing in common I find him very hard to speak to and we can hardly last a conversation for more then 5 minutes. He never tells me how he feels about me and when I confronted him he said it's because he finds it hard and prefers to show me. In all the time I have been with him we have never been on a date an offical date movies, dinner etc because he doesn't have money. When he hugs me and we make love I feel so loved and wanted by him, but as soon as he lets me go I feel pretty like shit. I don't understand him and either does he, been with him makes me feel cheap, ugly and worthless and yet am stil with him. I broke up with him sooo many times yet he keeps coming back into my life, since theres not a single thing I like about him I told myself it's because of my feelings for him that me make do this, stay with him. The thing that makes me upset the most is that he never calls me only on occasions that he borrows his friends phone. Am callin him all day time! One day i was with him and I checked his phone he didnt have any messages or numbers of girls but he had CREDIT on his phone that he toped up teh night before. When I saw that it really upset me I started thinking how often does he top up how long as he been and the fact that am not even worth 10p of text it broke my heart. When I confronted him he said I shouldn't have got angry and that his friend topped up for him! I didnt know whether to belive this. Even now we still togther and it makes me wonder why he wouldnt even call me or text me at all! We broke up a few months ago and then he texted me after we broke up non stop sending me all these nasty text messages to me. That really hurt because all that time I was with him all I never wanted was a simple text or a phone call I never asked for anything more. But yet he texted me after we broke up! We back togther again and he told me that he run out of credit and that he will top up, that was 2 months ago! He says he wants to be in this realationship, and yet we can't stand each other and I am soo unhappy, but am addicted to him. Helppppppp what do you think!

View related questions: broke up, cheap, money, text, university

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