A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I wrote on here last year about my now husband who has the travel bug and had mixed responses. His job means he works all summer and has 4 months over winter off. We got married last jan and in nov he wanted to go travelling again. I let him go to australia for 6 weeks saying it was last time - i couldnt afford another expensive holiday after our honeymoon to usa and didnt have anymore time off work. THis year he wants to go again to nz. I wouldnt get time off work but also have no real desire to travel far or the way he does by backpack. I feel let down cos ive been saving for us for house but he doesnt care about these kind things. He finds ordinary sun holidays boring and this is what i enjoy going away relaxing. He also finds ordinary things in life boring like going for a walk, meeting for lunch. Am finding married life more and more lonely. I guess before we lived together i had my family around me but feel that now im married i should be more independant.He has also said that if we have kids he'll be taking them skiing and not on sun holidays. I feel so mixed up about us a couple now. I know its about compromise but we cant seem to meet halfway. Any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (6 September 2012):
 Hi
From what you have said you are totally incompatable and the marriage has shown the cracks and different life-goals.
You don't have children so I guess he feels he can still do as he pleases travel wise. You want a home so are saving for this.
His work schedule is different with alot of time off in a chunk, so unless he gets a job to fill the time he is at a loose end for 4 months really. Going travelling fills that time,the way he wants,so, he prefers that to saving for a house.
You need to sit down with him, explain the difference in your lives,even the small things he doesn't want to share with you, like a walk. Then decide if you two want to carry on with mutual compramises or go your seperate ways.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2012): Unfortunatelly that's one of the things your husband needs to compromise.
He is a family man now, and not to think about savings and spend it all on travel is just silly.
The fact that you like different type of vacation is a little more challenging. I m more a laying on a beach person also. I also like going outs and meeting for lunch. My husband is more like your husband, rock climbing, has no interest in having after work drink, sleeping in a tent kind of guy.
It took us years to learn how to compromise. This is how it works with us mow: I go out for happy hours with my friends. We go out with him at night only once a week. We go together on one vacation with lots of hiking and activites, and one vacation rent a car stay in nice hotels and doing all kind of touristy things.
I started to enjoy nature trips, and he seemed like doesn't mind my city trips.
But now we can afford it. In your situation it puts strain on your finances, and that's not right. Our child is al grown up and independent that's whe we started to travel
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