A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i love my bf, weve been together for 2 yrs now with no plans to move in together any time soon. he rarely sleeps with me which is something ive grown to accept but lately hes more interested in getting a motorbike than me.this summer ive been on holiday as i work term time only and hes had half of that time off too but weve only been out for 3 of those days properly, once for my birthday, then his mums birthday, and once when we had a bbq one evening which was lovely!three other days out were to look at 1 car, and a couple of motorbikes!9 days ago i fell off my bicycle and i havent been able to go back to work as ive got a fractured wrist and fractured elbow, making life very difficult.he was off work when it happened and i called him from hospital to let him know and to ask for a lift home, i also told him i needed a hug as i was in a bit of shock too. i feel a bit neglected because he didnt come to be with me at the hospital and told me to wait outside the hospital for him so he could pick me up and call him when i was ready.since then ive seen him less as i cant drive to his place and hes been working. also i was explaining how i couldnt dress or shower easily and he just joked about my 17 yr old son having to help me! i have a s.o.h. but i was expecting some compassion! he wont stay or help me other than take me shopping once or twice a week and cook me a meal maybe a couple of times. in short, the more i could do with his help, the more i realise i couldnt rely on him for support, although he calls me a couple of times a day when i dont see him.were both 46. if he was in hospital or injured like me i would be doing everything i could to be supportive but i dont feel it from him. id also be by his side in hospital if he was in an accident!how should i tackle this situation? or should i move on?
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (7 September 2012):
 There is a lot going on in your post and you are definitely at a major milestone in your relationship. You've invested significant time into this man and I think you are beginning to see him for what he really is.
Let's look at what is going on: he is spending less time with you, he doesn't appear to want to have sex with you much, and when you need his support, he isn't there. It sounds like you keep accepting a sub-par boyfriend and wondering why you feel bad....
I think it is time for you to take further stock in your relationship. What is keeping you in it? Is he filling any void in your life or are you in this relationship only because you've already invested 2 years into it? Are you in love with a man who loves you less that you deserve? Like the adage of throwing good money after bad, you may be wasting time and energy on a relationship that has run its course.
Only you can determine what to do next as you know the full scope of your relationship and what he provides. I suggest making a list of the pros and cons -- and be honest with yourself. Ask yourself what you want out of a relationship and if this man is meeting those needs. See what comes out and ask yourself if are willing to settle for his short comings.
Keep in mind: your life is PRECIOUS -- you've only got one of them. If this man isn't making you happy, you may have to decide to walk away from him.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (6 September 2012):
 Hi
To be fair I think he does ok, coming over to cook a couple of times, taking you shopping,he's got to work too and you dont have life threatening injuries.If your 17yr old son lives with you,he should be helping with chores,hes on the spot, so to speak.
The thing that isnt right is the lack of dates and definately the lack of sex. It sounds more like 2 mates than a passionate relationship, but maybe hes just got used to you and thats how he views you now.
If you want to feel 'loved' then maybe its time to let him go and look for somebody who makes you feel like a hot blooded woman!
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