A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am in a ldr as well as committed relation since two years.Recently my bf came to visit me and he said that this is the last visit of this year!He just met me once in this year.He stays 1800 miles away and does not have that much finance to visit me anymore. Moreover he has to give entrance exams next year and so he is preparing hard.I also cant go to meet him as i live in hostel and not permitted to go this far.He also said that he cant devote much time to me,only 20 minutes per day.This will go on for 10 months!Will it still be called as relationship?Has it happened with anyone? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2011): I know this can be hard for him too since you love each other but that is why this is completely possible. I know how you feel. I've gone 9 months without my boyfriend with little communication but we stayed strong and faithful. It's good that he thinks about the future and is willing to risk being without you for a little while so that later on you two don't have to worry about money as a family together. That's how me and my navy sailor see it. With him in the military, we both know that our future and family's future will be better because he'll get free college and our whole family will get very good health insurance. Just hang in there. There might be moments where you both want to give up and it's ok to break down sometimes as long as you see that it's worth it in the future. With love you will make each other stronger.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionright now his classes have not started so he talks with me for 2-3 hours on phone at night.he even realises that i will be in pain but he said he is helpless.he said that if he will study hard and wil get a good college then we can have a bright future.but even i dont know how i am going to bear the pain.But we cant breakup as we love each other a lot.anyways thanks for your advice:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2011): This CAN work. If you really do like or love him and he does back.. My soon to be fiance is in the military. I haven't seen him since november and I won't until july. He can't always call me or talk to me as long as we'd like but we're stronger than ever.. But if your man doesn't show that he's trying because he really likes you than I guess it may be time to move on. If he really does try to talk and keep in communication with you then it may work. Communication is key.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (22 June 2011):
Hi there. 10 months is going to get very lonely for you, not seeing your boyfriend.
As it seems you can't change that, well then it's probably going to come to a point where you can't tolerate it any longer.
That will probably happen within a couple of months.
No matter how often you speak on the phone, or text, it's nothing like actually seeing each other. It's a very challenging situation to be in.
The hardest part of it is when you see other women going out with their boyfriends all the time and having fun.
That is what you miss.
See how it goes for the next 3 months or so, and if you can't take it any longer, well it's going to be decision time for you.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 June 2011):
 I think it's time to end this pretend relationship and get on with your life...
no reason you can't remain friends with this man but to be honest, it's not a relationship if he's telling you he can only devote 20 minutes per day to you... won't see you for nearly a year etc etc etc..
just say "thank for the heads up I think we should just remain friends at this time, maybe later on if we are in the same place we can discuss getting back together as a romantic couple"
I don't see much hope for this LDR...
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