A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My gf and i are having communication issues and it's because shes told me things and ive gotten mad. It's because she tells me way after it happens and she gets afraid because she has an abusive father and stepfather so she is afraid to make me mad but she tells me she trusts me. What should i do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, vodka-tearz  +, writes (1 December 2007):
 You need to refresh the layer of trust between the two of you. Do this by:- Telling her you'll protect her- Assuring her to let you know if something is bothering her- Open up to her, it's likely that she'll reflect this attitiudePlease e-mail if you need more help. x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2007): It can be most maddening getting the belated truth.Here is something you can try to make it sink in.Pick a cake receipe and get your partner to make the cake minus one important item from the reciepe. Then produce the said item when its time for the eating.Good luck
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (1 December 2007):
 I think the only way you can go about this one is to practise some self-restraint; hard though that maybe at times. You have to build up to an enviroment where you gf feels comfortable with expressing herself to you and that will take time and alot of hard work on your part, you can talk to her and reassure her but ultimately there is no substitute for experience and right now the most pressing experience in her mind is what has happened in her past and you have to gradually replace that.
You have to bear in mind that she is scared by anger and unfortunatly this means she will have alot of difficulty dealing with it; even though it is a perfectly normal and understandable reaction in some cases and even healthy to occasionally let off steam. You are going to have to bite your tounge; maybe find another way of releasing your negative feeling (video games or vigerous sporting activity) and build up her confidence in you. Good luck.
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