A
male
age
36-40,
*nil D
writes:i have been dating with this girl since 6 months. she loves me a lot and really cared about me. i was a special gem in her eyes and i am very lucky to get her.but to be frank, inspite we being committed, i didnt feel for her that way . i care for her and love her more than anyone on earth, but i think i like her only as a friend. trust me, i didnot want to cheat or hurt her neither was i playing with her but i had fallen for her love and care and didnot want to hurt her. we spent very good time texting each other and talking on phone. we were sweetly addicted to each other. lately, her brother came to know everything between us and he warned me to stop all contacts with her or else anything can happen. we didnot contact for 2 days. my condition was miserable and i missed her alot and cried every 10 mins. she is very dear to me and she is crazy about me and even she cried alot.after that we decided to remain friends. but we are not able to behave like friends and often miss our good times and become emotional. she is happy when i show some love but she doesnot like it when we behave like friends. i tried my level best to talk different things like our interest, general talks and often avoid those topics which may hurt her. but it seems she is not enjoying that.BUT SHE UNDERSTANDS AND DOESNOT TELL ME ANYTHING. she could not bear the shock of our breakup and i have been observing change in her attitude. she seems INSECURE about losing me and has become more CONCERNED about ME and says she does not want to lose me . SHE IS VERY UNDERSTANDING AND MATURE N she has agreed to stay friends but she is still not able to accept me as a friend it seems.she herself doesnot like it when we talk like friends and she often gets pissed about it but doesnot tell me the reason(MAYBE BECAUSE SHE WANTS ME BACK, SHE KNOWS ITS NOT POSSIBLE BUT SHE IS NOT ABLE TO ADAPT). SHE TRIES TO MOVE ON BUT AFTER CERTAIN PERIOD I FEEL SAME AND IT GOES ON N ON. i dont like this attitude of her. she should understand that we dont have any other option but to remain friends.the more she is trying to get closer to me, she is hurting me. i care for her but i understand the seriousness of the situation and have decided to move on.we have reduced our contacts and talk once a day. but she feels inadequate. she feels insecure about losing me. i cant see her upset like this and want her to move on. i dont understand why is she so concerned about me as there is no hope left.often she ends up upseting me by showing closeness. this is talking me away from her more and more. i dont want to lose her . should we take a break ? will she be able to bear it ?
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a break, insecure, move on, period, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (23 November 2008):
 To be honest I think you should probably leave her alone for some while. To cool things off and let her get used to the idea to not have you around as before. It might make you feel bad, but it is probably the kindest thing you can do to her right now.
If she still wants to be friends with you later on, then make it up to her, don't push her for friendship as you're doing now, it gives her mixed signals and probably hurt her more than if you just leave her alone completely.
Let her go so that she can get over you and find happiness with someone who really loves her and wants to be with her.
A
male
reader, Anil D +, writes (23 November 2008):
Anil D is verified as being by the original poster of the question SHOULD I STOP CARING ABOUT HER FEELINGS WE HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING POSSIBLE AND IT DOESNOT SEEM TO WORK! It seems difficult for her to accept me as a friend as she still loves me a lot. Do I need to become bit harsh to make things work ? a break for some time ?????? friends , plz suggest something that will work without me feeling bad about hurting her!!!thnx 4 d time …tc
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