A
female
age
30-35,
*ia02
writes:Hi all.So Ron(not his real name) and I are now college sophomores.We became really good friends since our day 1 as freshmen.We started spending more time together.At first it was only academic related but later we just started hangingout.He would ask me for long walks,took me to his favorite concert,was my date for this ball party on my birthday and so much more.7 months later,he sensed that I liked him and plus I made fun of him saying I'm the only girl he talks to.I know it was the stupidest mistake I've made and that pricked his male ego really hard.So he distanced himself and 2 weeks later he gave me a lecture saying,"I think I'm seeing you too much lately.I see you wherever I go.Dont wait for me after classes.I cant stick to 1 person.I need more friends.i just want to focus on academics and I need more space." I didn't speak to him since then and he asked me to get lunch with after our final exam.I agreed but I invited one of our mutual guy friends to join in and Ron got extremely jealous. We didnt speak since then. Then summer started and no talk.Then college reopened on august this year and we were cordial initially but then he started ignoring me completely in front of his friends.Then it became "You ignore me,I ignore you even more" game.As immature as it sounds,it really felt awful. It was his birthday on october and I wrote him an email stating all the fun things we had done together and I told him that I miss him.I tried to keep it as casual as possible.He replied back saying "Thank you Gia." That was it. Then we would just be cordial at times if we bumped into each other but again,he would behave like he doesn't know me around his friends. He is now trying his best to mingle up with other popular kids(including girls) in college.He randomly likes their facebook posts,photos,follows them on spotify etc even though they ain't really friends.Nobody returns him back the attention but he has been trying so hard.I don't know what did I do wrong.Have I been throwing in too much pride? Should I break the ice and try to ACTUALLY talk to him? I really miss him and I want us to get back to being attracted and affectionate as before.Any output? ThanksPS - Sorry for the really long read.
View related questions:
broke up, facebook, immature, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 December 2013):
 That's what we are trying to tell you, there is no "savaging things" here. You need to let this go and get on with your school life. Make him invisible.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2013): To treat him like any other student means indifferent; but cordial. You can be rude, and you'll only get the same in return.
I think he's shown you how he intends to treat you. Like he doesn't know you.
What would an adult do?
...............................
A
female
reader, Gia02 +, writes (4 December 2013):
Gia02 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat do you exactly mean by treating him as just any other student? Like,I'm sweet and friendly to everyone I know.Be it guys or girls. So should I just be like that (sweet and friendly) to him. Or should I just behave like he's some student I don't know? I would respond if he talks on his own but I don't want to of my own.But just for the sake of savaging things...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2013): Well, you obviously have to share space. You attend the same college. Just act as if he is any other student. He decided he wanted to brush you off. So, go with the program.
Detach!
...............................
A
female
reader, Gia02 +, writes (4 December 2013):
Gia02 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI never think about him or basically anything else when I have my studies on. I,most of the times, have my friends by my side or my other personal stuff to do when I don't have much academic stuff to do. It's that super ideal time when there is just nothing to do. Or if I just randomly come across something which which reminds me of us.That's when I tend to go back to square one.But I do see your point. It's just basically the fact that he lost interest because I gave in wayy too much of myself to him. Perhaps, hence he felt the needed a change in company.He just wants to get famous by letting people know his name. But like I said that we don't talk or really bump into each other, then how do I behave when we do accidentally bump into each other? Like in the dining court or after the exam? Obviously we will run into each other someday. We live right opposite each other and we share same engineering classes. Should I just behave like he doesn't exist? Moreover like being indifferent. OR should I say hi to him out of courtesy?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2013): My dear, it's now starting to look like a high school romance. You're caught up in a game. Him ducking you, and you chasing him. You contradict your words with your actions. You are showing up everywhere you know he'll be. That's no coincidence. It's getting kind of weird.
I recommend you leave the guy alone. You're coming off like a stalker. Everywhere he goes, there you are. Time to be a woman. He doesn't matter. Put your head into your studies, and get that guy off your mind for awhile. He's got you acting desperate. Read your two posts and you'll see what I mean.
...............................
A
female
reader, Gia02 +, writes (3 December 2013):
Gia02 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your input guys! I appreciate it.Also WiseOwl,what you said made total sense however I am not chasing him anymore.I did chase him a bit initially before summer because I admit,I had panicked but I have given up now. I saw him isolating himself from everyone so as a good friend,I thought of asking him what was the matter. I told him I had something important to tell him.I really did like him but I just wanted to ask him if he wants us take same classes next semester because it was his idea initially but I had kinda bailed out so I wanted to make up to him.However,he then told me that he was too depressed since he lost $5000 due to his indecisiveness and so I thought I should save the 'sharing same class' question for later. But he just simply assumed that I was in love with him and I was wanting for us settle down in a serious committed relationship. So he just kept making his own assumptions and so he ran away.He has never been in a relationship before so it's all new to him.I just wish if I could tell him that I am not in love with him or something.And all I wanted to ask him was if he wanted to share same classes and not if he would be my boyfriend.We barely even bump into each other these days. LAst week,he saw me standing in the Exit door of the physics building. He always gets out through that door but he changed his route after seeing me standing there. It's confusing the hell out of me as to why is he doing all this. It's not like I talk to him anymore like before.Even now,if he sees me somewhere he behaves as if I'm standing there just because I know that he'll be there too.This is all insane.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 December 2013):
Listen to the Owl. You've made an attempt and he's not buying, it's time to back way off. He'll look you up when and if he's interested. I know you want things back to the way they were but sometimes there just is no going back.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2013): You should go no contact. Why would you let someone humiliate you by ignoring you in front of people. Do you want him back just because you can't face the rejection? He is being immature, and can't take a joke. Stop the chase, it's beneath your dignity. He's trying to make you suffer for a little dig, said in fun. Let him alone to prove his point.Stop all attempts to communicate. He isn't going to miss you until you cut him off completely. He has all the power now.You're following him around like a puppy begging for attention.Men want most what they can't have. Ignore him. Get busy, concentrate on your studies. Let the drama fade away, don't feed into it. Date other guys if you like. Think forward. Maybe he doesn't want you back. If he does,let him come to you. You've already tried, and it didn't work. Maybe you should consider it over and move on.
...............................
|
