We broke up so he can figure himself out

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I recently broke up. We have only been together 4 months. We didn’t break up due to being unhappy or unfaithful. It wasn’t anything like that. Before we met, we both were not looking for a relationship, but we so happened to run into each other and we hit it off and we had a relationship. It was great and every moment was special. Last Friday we broke up. He said it has nothing to do with me, its all about him. He feels he’s not ready for another relationship and he wants to focus on himself. But he still cares and loves me. I saw him last night and we talked. You could really tell he was hurting. I have never seen him look so sad before. We hugged and cried and talked. I told him he cant run away from his feelings. I’m thinking he is trying to convince himself that he doesn’t want a relationship. Or else it wouldn’t hurt him so much to do this. However, he still wants me in his life, he still wants to hang out with me. That tells me that he didn’t break up with me cause he didn’t like me, he broke up so he can figure himself out first. I am hoping to get an opinion on this. To me it sounds like he’s stressed and just needs time to get things right. I want to wait for him, I’ve never met anyone like him before. So any ideas and I don’t want to hear “if he cared…..” He does care, but he has other things on his mind. Im wondering what he is really thinking.

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A female reader, eh4ad  +, writes (18 March 2009):

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