A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well me and my boyfriend had sex. BUT we used a condom anddd i was on birth control. We broke up a week ago and i just found out i'm pregnant!!! i dont know what to do. He is already dating someone new. What should I do?! Im thinking about getting an abortion but i dont know how long i have been pregnant (me and my ex bf had sex before). Please help me. Im really scared.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): No matter what your decision is about aborting or adopting or keeping the baby, your ex needs to know. Just because the baby is in your body, doesn't mean that it isn't half his. He will want to know, and hopefully will have an opinion about what you should do.
My very dear guy friend accidentally got a one-nighter pregnant. She told him she was going to have an abortion, but he asked her to have it, and to give it to him. He is now a very proud single father (and exelent parent) and has no idea where she is.
Your ex might be against abortion. He might be for it.
But NO MATTER WHAT- keep his opinion in mind (the baby's 1/2 his), but ALSO REMEMBER THAT THE DECISION IS YOURS. You have the final say. Don't let him, or ANY ONE ELSE tell you what to do.
And as for my opinion: I dont think you should abort. I'm never for abortion. But I do acknowledge that it has saved many young girls' lives, (but only if they change the way they do things afterward!! No one ever makes that same big mistake twice and remains uneducated and inocent.) Every situation is different and I don't know your details enough to build an educated opinion. Like I said, I'm pro-life. Remember that even though it's tiny in there, it is alive and has a consious.But this decision needs to be made in the bets interest of you and your baby.
By the way- I know you may not be excited about it now. But congratulations! Your a mother- something I've wanted for a long time :)
A
female
reader, misfitschik66  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 P.s person 1234 was right about the the methods of abortion they will give you a councilor if you need it and there are other options beside them removing it from you
they do have medications for you to abort on your own mind you if it doesn't work you may get an infection and have to get a DNC done but you will be under for this..it does not hurt and there are MANY girls all over the world that are in your situation right now
remember that
good luck sweety
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A
female
reader, misfitschik66 +, writes (8 September 2010):
LLindy87 probably said it best but one thing is wrong about abortions
even if you do get an abortion this DOES NOT decrease your chances of getting pregnant..this i know from first hand experience.
i got pregnant when i was 16 and got an abortion..THE BEST decisions i could have ever made for myself that is
i would never be able to give birth and just give my baby away i would have made myself more depressed then i already was
when i turned 18 i got pregnant again just fine and i lost it due to falling on the ice when i was 4 months pregnant not because of difficulties in the pregnancy
the baby was perfectly healthy
but if you choose to abort i highly suggest you REALLY think about your options and which one is best for YOU and THIS time
you should tell this guy EVEN if you do decide to abort or give it up for adoption he SHOULD know that you were pregnant and that he was very close to having a child
if you decide to keep it he NEEDS to be in the baby's life to help you support it you are SO young and it takes two to make a baby weather he is with you or not
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (8 September 2010):
 The only reason to involve him is if you decide to keep it, or to get him to help pay for the abortion (it's only fair since it does take two to get there).
Definitely go talk to a doctor about your options, and should you decide to have an abortion, they can help ease your fears. Nowadays abortions aren't the scary "vacuum cleaner" kind (unless you're past I think like 15 weeks or so, though I don't know exactly how far along). They give you a pill to take at your convenience and then you just have some cramping and bleeding for a day or so in the privacy of your home and it's done. There are rarely some complications, but it's very rare. Also they can help you get any emotional help (counseling etc...) that you need. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (8 September 2010):
 the first thing you need to do is go to the doctor and see if you're for sure pregnant (you most likely are if the pee test said yes, but to just make sure) and from there you will see how far along you are.
They will give you the best advice for choices, whether you want to keep the baby, give it up for adoption or abort it. Having a baby at 16-17 will be hard, so its understandable if not keeping it is an option. But have you considered adoption? There are a lot of couples who aren't able to conceive and would appreciate your help. I really don't think aborting the baby is the right way to go about this, some of my friends have had abortions and it can have some serious after effects. Depending on who you are and your personality, you could go into depression, you could really have a hard time dealing with terminating a life. In a more physical sense, it does lessen your chances of having your own babies in the future when you may want children come that time.
Also, I'd for sure tell your ex what's going on. Do this after you go to the doctor, that way you'll have all the facts and documents so he can't accuse you of lying, because after all...some girls do make that up (not saying you are).
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (8 September 2010):
the first thing you need to do is go to the doctor and see if you're for sure pregnant (you most likely are if the pee test said yes, but to just make sure) and from there you will see how far along you are.
They will give you the best advice for choices, whether you want to keep the baby, give it up for adoption or abort it. Having a baby at 16-17 will be hard, so its understandable if not keeping it is an option. But have you considered adoption? There are a lot of couples who aren't able to conceive and would appreciate your help. I really don't think aborting the baby is the right way to go about this, some of my friends have had abortions and it can have some serious after effects. Depending on who you are and your personality, you could go into depression, you could really have a hard time dealing with terminating a life. In a more physical sense, it does lessen your chances of having your own babies in the future when you may want children come that time.
Also, I'd for sure tell your ex what's going on. Do this after you go to the doctor, that way you'll have all the facts and documents so he can't accuse you of lying, because after all...some girls do make that up (not saying you are).
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A
female
reader, angelsrock18 +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Talk to him about it, and see what he says.
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