A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Quick question for the men..My bf and I broke up after 3yrs, we just havn't been getting along latelty because of some problems, we broke up once before and he came back 3 weeks later saying he missed me and wanted to try again. This time he got really angry with me and left and wouldn't talk to me for days, when I finally got a hold of him, i asked if we were broke up and he said..i can't see how we're not..yada yada. ANYWAYS question is..we go to the same gym every morning always have.. Should i change my time schedule,, or keep going at the same time,, Basically i want to know..Is seeing me every morning, preventing him from missing me. I really don't want this break up, but he seems so angry with me. When he sees me at the gym, he just gives me the head nudge
View related questions:
broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Banks2020  +, writes (12 August 2008):
i think that you just need to move on...everytime your bf sees you with another guy or even just talking to another man hes boiing on the inside i promise, i know cause i am one and i know how it is for us dudes. Even if hes the one who left you thats just the way it is but dont ever let hime know that your trying to get him back or trying to make him jealous because it will empower him if he picks up on this trust me. Guys always want to eat their cake and have it at the same time. All of them no matter how old they are...ive found that women are the same way too
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids  +, writes (23 November 2007):
 Hi there - yes I remember. That's good that he came to talk to you. Just take it steady, keep going to the gym, but not so you see your ex every day. It will make him wonder what is happening. Don't expect anything more from him than what you've seen so far. He won't suddenly drop down on one knee (well not yet anyway). It's a good sign though.
Just maintain your position for a while now - 7-10 days. Don't see your ex every day at the gym, say 2-3 times a week. If you haven't already done so yet - do something different to your looks. Start feeling independant, and confident. Don't overdo it - just a little. Keep up polite conversation with the other guy in the gym - whether you like him or not - he did you a favour. Smile a lot when you talk to him, watch the response in his eyes.
Meanwhile, start planning something for yourself for next week. Cinema, theatre, ice skating - something - go with a friend - or join a club(I don't know enough about you). This will help you feel a little more independant.
Glad it is going well.
Richard
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007): I hope someone sees this...Ok its day 10 after my last question about this....I miss him like crazy and i did excatly what Richard said to do..not sure if it worked..Yesterday at the gym ..THIS AS NOT PLANNED..my ex was 2 treadmills beside me,,i just start my workout and this guy that has been helping me with arms, comes up to me and stands on the treadmill beside me and starts chatting, telling me his workout was over and if i wanted help with arm we could go now to do it..I glance at my ex and he's fumbling with his mp3 player(probabaly turning down his volume) and i say yeah sure,, so off i got with this guy to workout.. TODAY ant the gym,,my ex gets on the treadmill beside me and taps my arm....Hey he said,, how are your workouts going?? We had small conversation and i put my headphones..Question is..is he missing me I really dont wanna read to much into this because i'm scared of giving myself false hope then BAM i find out his seeing someone else...Did he really have to talk to me?? that was the first bit of talking we had since the breakup..HOW do guys THINK???Is there anything i should be doing?? really confused
...............................
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (12 November 2007):
Hey - I have just seen comment below. The idea is to change the routine of it. Maybe it's not clear - I'm not saying cut off all contact - I'm saying change the pattern - change what is predictable. After a few days of not seeing - then see him - but arrive as he's leaving, so contact is minimal - but he has the opportunity to speak to you (briefly).
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): Do you really think so Richard, i was in a simular situation, and NOT seeing my ex everyday helped me to move on because i didn't have to see them in my face. But i'm a women, so who knows,, how men think,, i'll leave this one for the men i guess
...............................
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (12 November 2007):
Hi. Yes - you've got it exactly right. If he's seeing you everyday then he won't miss you anywhere near as much. Change the time you go to gym - but don't tell him - just do it. When you do "happen" to arrive one day - just as he's leaving - it will help if there is something different about you - hair, tan, gym clothes, earings etc.
There is something else though. If you do get back together - you need to let him get the problem off his chest. Let him explain - ask questions so you understand it - and show that you genuinely want to resolve it. The impression you are giving me is that you want to make up with him - but you don't attach too much importance to the incident/problem that caused the break-up. Whatever it was - it was very important to him - and appears to be an "unresolved conflict" serving as a barrier between you. Good luck.
...............................
|
