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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm kind of freaked out. My boyfriend broke up with me and he wants his stuff back (just his games though, none of his childhood things), and I want all of my things though. The other thing I want is for him to delete the nude pictures he took of me off his computer. (Yes... this is my first relationship and I was naive to do that.)I'm trying to let go of the fact that he doesn't plan to give my things back, or if he does that he won't give them in good condition. But the pictures are important to me! They're overall degrading.He still wants to see me; for example he wanted me to come over to his family's New Year's party, but I said no since his family is "sick of me" and don't want to see me. He was invited to a friend's party though, but he said he'd rather have me over. Then he says if I don't come he'd most likely show those pictures to his friends! Or burn a CD for one of his most perverted friends... (Which is really sick to think he might masturbate to it).Then he tried brushing off my questions about the pictures, and demanded to know about my day and what I did. It really ticks me off; I'm broken up with you, why do I have to tell you everything that I do now? He asked me a couple questions (in order for me to get his answer about the pictures): "Do you still love me? Do you want to do still **** me do you still hate your parents etc." I answered to the way he liked or he would've freaked out. He said some other things that weirded me out like "I want to take care of you. I think if I get your parents to hate you and you hating them then I can feel like I'm going to take care of you." He says he feels tempted doing bad things with these pictures when no one talks to him, and I said "Why don't you talk to those girls you now hang out with?" He says "They're not you."A summary on what my fears are:1. His eerie attachment to me still. Will he continue to victimize me?2. He put me through an abusive relationship, though he says "I want to give you the pain that you put me through." What could he do? And it wasn't him who was the victim!3. Those pictures!! They have been a problem (about 8 months ago) with him, but things were going okay with them enough to give him trust with my nude pictures. :/ My parents do know of their existence, but I can't get mine or his family to do anything about him! (since he manages to hide them on his computer and make me look stupid)4. He has so many issues with my family; I'm scared of what he'll do to them while I'm away at boarding school.What should I do? I don't know who to really express these fears to, and it's really hard to ignore him...
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broke up, my ex, nude pictures Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): I was in the same situation. I went to procomb. I sure they can help you too.procomb.com
A
male
reader, BadVoice  +, writes (2 January 2008):
How old are you? If you are under 18 then you need to go to the police with your parents to make him give you the pictures for sure. This guy will continue to pressure you and force you to be with him by threatening to show the pictures to everyone. I had to intervene on several different female friends behalf who were in the same situation but they were all grown ladies. PLEASE! Go to the police before your reputation is destroyed!
I do not believe in criminal wrongdoing, but I would even pay someone to breakin his house and steal his harddrive and destroy it. I feel truly sorry for you. If you lived in the United States and was within a 1000 miles...I would help you...your best bet is to go to the police regardless of how embarrassing this may sound.
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A
male
reader, AR +, writes (2 January 2008):
this guy sounds like a creep. i have a friend who was in the same situation. when her ex didnt give back her pics she snuck into his apartment while he was at work using her copy of the key and took his laptop and deleted anything that had to do with their relationship. you could also tell him that you would be willing to call the cops if he doesnt give them up...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008): The pics are the priority. Then you'll be able to move on and deal with the abuse and to get over him and everything else. I say trick him and try to erase them from the computer yourself. You'll have to go to his house of course. Couldn't you go with someone else so they could help you entertain him while you erase them? He sounds like a Nuts case to me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008): hello there.
my friend is in the same exact position you are!
i am quite supprised!
I thought this was her at first.
i agree with the guy that posted first.
when my friend had this problem i had to go to his house and sneak on his computer and delete the pictures myself and i was successful. But there is a thing called computer restore. Try having a friend go do this for you. Go to a counciler and let matters be in their own hands. Maybe the police as a last resort because that would be a very big hassel. My friend is between the age of 13-15 and this is her first boyfriend also and they broke up and he had nudes of her. The problem is that he has already shown his friends these pictures and there is really no way to take that back. Does your mom know? You NEED TO TELL YOUR PARENTS. if i hadnt told my friends mom her boyfriend would have still had these pictures. if these pictures were to get out [[not to scare you]] not your reputation at school could be ruined. Do not do this again if you want to ignore this whole situation. Bottom line if you want to get those pictures off tell an adult! your mother perferably. I hope this helped. :]
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A
male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (2 January 2008):
 The guy is perverted and sounds abusive.
For future reference, never give out nudes.
My advice would be to tell him you'll goto the cops if he doesn't give them back, and maybe go to the cops.
Not to mention if you're under 18, and he distributes them to friends or whoever that's distribution of child pornography. You should tell him that, if the police were to find out he ever done a thing like that he could easily face jail time.
And he'd have a record for it which would last forever.
As far as the questions and saying he wants to make you hurt the way he hurts, the guy is up to no good, he sounds like a creeper.
You could go for a restraining order, going to the cops wouldn't be fun, but if no one else will help you out you might as well.
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