A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have been through a seperation. I have done a lot of soul searching in the time since we seperated (1/half). I still have feelings for my ex and realise that I probably always will as we were together for some time and have a child together. I feel I failed. I can’t help it. I don’t want our child to miss out. I can tell that he struggles with his daddy not being here (he sees him every week end). It hurts me that my son hurts. I carry a lot of guilt. I can’t help it. Also I don’t know how it’s going to turn out when I start dating again. How do I deal with emotional baggage and trust issues after a failed relationship. How do I deal with having to see my ex all the time and the emotions that arise as I still have feelings there. We have stayed friends for our son but what about when I eventualy do get another man. How do I shield my son from confusion. How will I have a new relationship. Will there be problems because me and my ex have stayed friends so we can still be active in our sons life together tho seperated. How do I find stability in all of this. Right now I’m best on my own but I just need some answers to some lingering questions. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): Thankyou for your response. My son is also bright & im sure he will understand but i just hav a lot of guilt. Perhaps i need councilling because i have some serious issues after the break up. Perhaps even some depression. I just want the best for my son. I agonise over it at times. Thankyou for your advice. I really do appreciate it xox
A
female
reader, vwomen  +, writes (28 April 2009):
 First of all i do know how you feel. I myself is in a similar situation. my husband and i have been together for 13yr. 10 of those we were married. we seperated 4mo ago, i have a daughter . she is a bright child and knew momma and daddy weren't happy togeter. so she verbally said "it's ok if you and my daddy move away from each other". long story short she benefited from the seperation ,because i'm able to focus on my well being, and in turn made her happy cuz mamma is smiling again. to answer your question we have to sometimes sit our children down and be real with them, because children see and hear things. we as parents try our best to protect them, but they aren't stupid. don't ever think you failed in this relationship, you must see it as, making you a better women and mother. girl take you and your son, and enjoy life with him. we must always know that disappointments will come in life it is how we handle them is what make's or break's us.I'm gald you and his father remain friends. this shows him strenght.
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