A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:5 Months ago, I broke up with my girlfriend with whom I'd had sex with and with whom I'd been with for a year and a half. She was too jealous and too clingy, and as a result of this, she split up my whole group of friends, as they felt they couldn't get near me without evoking her wrath. She did not take the news of our break up well, and cried for 3 weeks after it. From what I have heard, she still occasionally sheds a tear about it. About a month after the break up, I learned that while we were going out, she cheated on me once(Just a Kiss, and with a Turkish man on holiday), which explained the jealousy thing, as those who cheat are more likely to accuse their partners of cheating. I have spoken to her abotu this and she confirms this.So anyway, she has came round to my house a couple of times since the break up, and there is always an air of sexual tension. So much so that we end up having intercoursal relations every time. And I enjoy it, and I miss it.I believe her to be my first love, and I have heard that I will never get over her if this is the case. I am also her first love, and she admits herself that she would happily get back with me.For a while, I thought I could live a very happy life without her, but I now realize that I want her back desperately. Not just for the sex, but for the companionship.There are however, two things standing in my way. The first is her current boyfriend. She is constantly trying to fill the hole I left in her with other men, and this current guy is completely in love with her. He is also an extremely nice guy whom I have no intention of hurting. She has told me that she'd rather be with me than him, but doesn't want to hurt his feelings.The second obstacle is my friends. I fear that by going out with her again, they would feel a tad betrayed. They have eased of the name calling that used to be directed at her, and now appear to be neutral, although there is a certain air of hostility about them all. I don't believe that by rekindling the fire of our relationship that I would lose my friends. I'm just scared of what they might think of me.So fellow DearCupid.org Users, What do you think of my current predicament.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 December 2009):
This is why you need to get away from her. She's playing you like a violin. You can do better.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): I agree. You need to get away from this girl, she's just stringing you along. She's not worth losing all your friends over. It's understandable to be lonely, but it might be good for you to be on your own for a while and get over things. Then you will be ready to find someone else that will be faithful to you and truly return your feelings.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): I think the two of you are acting your ages. Lot's of melodrama and lots of confusion and lots of sex.
I wouldn't worry about it too much, do what ever you think is best. Your relationship with your first love at this age was never meant to last. You are both young, learning about love and relationships and experimenting with sex.
Just try to be respectful of everyone's feelings. If she would rather be with you than with him, do not tell him and try to ruin their relationship, let her find a respectful way of ending things with him.
Of course it isn't right what she is doing, but I don't think this means that she is a cheater for life, not at her age, she is confused and she changes her mind as often as she changes her socks. In other words a typical teenager.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): If i were in your position, I'd go back outh with her. She may cheat on you again, she may even cause you to lose all your friends, but its a life lesson. You should always do what YOU want to do. X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): I think you've answered your own question. You guys broke up because she had issues, and also because she was possesive and isolated you from your friends. That is NOT healthy and NOT normal. Also, what makes you think if she's cheated on you before in a fashion, and is cheating on her current boyfriend now, that she won't do the same to you? She will!Move on...It's hard, but that's my advice. Tell her you need to move on and she should too. Don't talk to her, don't have her over, DON'T HAVE SEX WITH HER!First loves are the hardest to heal from, but you'll heal and learn for the next time you care for someone.
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