A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hi, My boyfriend and spent 3 years together...went through a miscarriage and lived together for a year. He worked overseas and after I lied to him about someone breaking into his car...he sought solace in a girl he met in his work place. Since then he came home, broke up with me but we are still friends. We even went on vacation together. He is with her now but still wants to sleep with me to say goodbye. I still love him and would love to be with him again but I am torn inside. Same time I love him to pieces we had a great relationship before...Help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): I"m in a similar situation and believe I know the turmoil of your heart. I broke it up but I still love him. He was constantly jerking me around. Would call then not call for days, always w/the excuse of "I'm just so busy". BULLSHIT!!! I don't even know why I still talk to him. I can't date anyone right now. I think of the pain, the way he could easily ignore me and it makes me terrified to feel those horrible feelings. STAY strong. That is what I remind myself to do (as weak as speaking to him still is). I just keep saying to him, when you want a relationship let me know but tell him he is right. My feelings were stronger than his and sleeping with him would destroy me. And, it WILL destroy you!!!!! Look how unfaithful he is being w/this other girl if he sleeps with you. That alone should show you what a COMPLETE LOSER he is!!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): Hey
I understand your situation. i would say please don't do it. I am trying to get out of a similar situation myself. I decided to go through with it and it was the wrong decision. It only leads to heartache and bad feelings between you. If you are happy to have him as a friend and it is not awkward, then keep it that way. I only wish that I would have stuck with my decision to stay purely friends. I wish you all the best and remember you deserve more. Forget about this guy, you had your chance as a couple, he made his decision. He is counting on that you still have feelings for him. Don't give him the satisfaction, let yourself have the last word.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007): human. its not easy letting in of anyone you commit yourself to especially he you had decided that sex will be forever with them. you will only be reminding yourself what you will miss out on. its probably an effort to hold on to you maybe even a sign that it still is love although you will be apart.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2006): As a victim of a similar situation i can tell you that after my boyfriend and i *chris broke up after almost a 2 year relationship i wanted anything to have him back and evertime we'd see each other on college breaks he would call and ask for a sober ride home then ask me to come inside and "hang out" of course i was always at the becon of his call cause i love(d) him. But it wasn't until this summer that i realized he had already said goodbye to me as his girlfriend but still wanted to have sex w. me, and i told him, stupidly that if thats all i could get, i would take it cause i wanted anything from him. It was probablly one of the worst regrets i have ever made because it hurt knowing that i was sleeping with him with my heart and not my body, and he was in it just for the pleasure, and i thought like we would at least be "fuck buddies" but i found out he had been having sex w. other girls too, and now it's the worst goodbye i've ever had because the last time we had sex he basiclly tore my heart because i just remebered how enjoyable it was when we were together and how much i missed it.and i'm a year late and a dollar short on the response, but just wanted to let you know other people are faced with your problem too, and it sucks! hope eveything went okay
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reader, thats1foru +, writes (21 July 2005):
Do you think that if you sleep with him that it going to make things better? You dont have to say goodbye with sex. I think that you should tell him to loss you number and replace it with the one he is with now. Sweetie you dont have to do any thing to prove yourself to him but show him the door. Wait before you go out and get someone else. Know what mistake that you made this time around so that you want make them again. Your body is something that should be given to someone (HUSBAND) that really loves you. Lose this loser and Wait on God to send you your Husband. Until then Love on you; because no one else will know how if you dont know how to love you. Put God frist and every thing else will fall in line. I will be praying for your JOY and Happiness.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2005): Is this for real? He's using you Drop him like a hot potato and do it over the phone. He really doesn't deserve a face to face final send-off. The arrogance of this guy amazes me. (shaking my head here). It's like he feels he needs to bestow you with a good-bye "romp in the hay" to appease you and likely his guilt. What a jerk. Keep your self-respect intact and say "thanks, but no thanks"
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (20 July 2005):
 I always think it's sad when lads say 'let's just be friends . . . but we can still have sex!' I always interpret this as them wanting the best of both worlds: the single life when it suits them and someone to have sex with when they've got nothing better to do.
Obviously I don't know this guy but trust your instincts. Don't allow yourself to be used by him. Make sure you both know the boundaries before anything happens. It's not fair if you think you're going to end up back together and he just wants some casual fun. Talk about what you both want before anything happens.
If you both want the same thing, that's fine. If you trust and care for him and you feel comfortable, go for it. But don't do it under the presumption this will sort out all your problems and you will live happily ever after. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (20 July 2005):
 Well, isn't that nice of him! Sex with you... as a parting gift, before he waves goodbye walking away, hand in hand with a new girlfriend. Awwww! My heart swells for you.
Maybe you'd like to also give him sex - no strings attached, of course! - to celebrate that he scored with one of those great-looking girls at work. Or possibly as a birthday present to him. Or because he had porridge for breakfast. Or, how about you and him have casual sex to commemorate the anniversary of Captain Cook's arrival in Australia?
OK, I know I have the sarcasm turned up to 11, but I'm trying to make a point that you appear to be missing... This guy is USING your affection for him as a tool for free sex.
You *lied* to him, so he *slept with someone*?! Is that a fair response? I don't think so! He doesn't sound like much of a boyfriend to begin with. He doesn't seem to have cared much about preserving your union when you were together, and now that you're apart, he sees you less as a caring ex and more as an easy root.
He broke up with you. That means it's over, sexually speaking. If he wants to have sex with you, he should be at least *attempting* to have a relationship with you. Simply suggesting that the two of you have sex because he "wants to say goodbye", or because it's National Library Card Day in Belize is a sad joke.
Wake up, hon. It doesn't sound to me like you had a "great relationship" and having sex with him is not going to win him back to you, even if it was. He's already shown that he thinks nothing of you, don't give him the chance to rub your face in it, too.
You were with him for 3 years, so you're probably accustomed to being treated poorly. That doesn't mean you have to take it today! Tell him that he can go and have sex with "the girl from his workplace", if he wants that so badly.
As for you, your Goodbye Gift to him should be a door... in the face.
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