A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, Where do I start: Okay, I've been dating my boyfriend for a year. Around 2 weeks and a half ago I broke up with him because I was confused about a lot of things at the time on how my feelings were for him because for the last few weeks I was feeling like he wasn't doing the things he would set out do do for me in the relationship because we've been living together too. SO, when we went to the movies that day he was told me he was sensing that I kinda didnt love him no more and I didn't know how to answer that and he walked out the movies and I tld him then and there that maybe we should be friends for now because I dont think i still wanted to be in a relationship at the time. i told him I wanted to give it a month or two to see where my feelings were at. Then, less than a week went by and I started to miss him. Now, he's the one telling me that we're done now, he's moving on. But here's the question.Here's somebody who use to cry for me, wanted to marry me. Since he wanted to play it like that I told him a week ago okay I'll help u move on faster then come and pick up the rest of your stuff. He has come by here 3 times already and still haven't gotten his stuff. yesterday in the early morning he came gathered his things,said he was taking a shower and left.His things he gathered are still here. Is he still not taking his stuff to have a reason to keep stopping by? he knows I would get back with him. But since he's ignoring me now.Im trying to do the same too and not call him.
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male
reader, Ziggystardust  +, writes (9 April 2007):
You both want your heads banging together. Stop the games and be honest with one another. You both think theres more beyond the relationship and have got complacent. Its sometimes hard to know what you want. Im old probably in comparison to you and I still dont know what I want. We enjoy the security of our relationships but sometimes feel they hold us back. Work on it and youll reap the rewards of your hard work. Go with the flow and youll never have a lasting relationship in your life. I must emphasise the work has to come from both sides.
A
male
reader, Leo2007  +, writes (9 April 2007):
Hi there!
My imediate impression is that he is keeping an "open door." Its seems he may want to come back to you at some point. I'm not sure if this is what you want. If he told you he is moving on, then accept this as this is the only thing he seems to have been clear about so far. If you are determined not to get back with him then maybe you should pack his stuff together and make an appointment to drop it at his place, although he should be man enough to collect his own stuff.You certainly can forget about closure if you have his stuff. However, if you want him back, then hold on to his stuff until he asks for it. All the best!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2007): This has never happened to me but I would suggest being calm and asking him straight out 'do you actually want to be in a relationship with me?' His answer from then on is a prompt for you to make your mind up too.However if he says no and still won't take his stuff you should simply box it all up and leave by his house.
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