A
female
age
30-35,
*ysterium
writes:Hi all,My boyfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me because he moved to another country to pursue his MBA. The context is that we have been in a long distance for sometime in the middle as well. He was depressed at the time and not much was working out in his life. I made time for him and I was by his side the entire time. I even helped him with his apps and I was literally a pillar of support for him when his own parents were fed up of him. Now he’s in a sorted space and he Suddenly feels like he doesn’t have time for me or this relationship. He still wanted to be friends and called me Up/FaceTimed like we were dating. I eventually told him that I need space to deal with his decision and we had a very deep and emotional conversation where he professed how in love with me he is and how he wants to be there for me. I acknowledged it but stopped speaking because I needed to deal with it. Not less than a week later, he has started posting pictures on social media where he usually isn’t very active...of him with friends having such a fun time. And his captions read “new beginnings”. I’m trying to not take his actions personally but I feel like it’s insensitive and he’s being a bit of a jerk to me! I don’t know how to make sense of this and would appreciate some perspective on this! Thanks!
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (28 July 2019):
 Sweetheart, don't take this personally.
You obviously have a kind and caring nature. Sadly not everyone is the same. You need to remember that, just because you CHOSE to support someone through difficult times, does not mean they owe you the same.
From my experience, situations like yours are not unusual. It's almost like the person receiving the care and support wants to cut links with the person who provided it as contact reminds them of bad times which they want to leave behind them.
Your ex is hell-bent on "new beginnings". Accept this is his CHOICE, wish him well in your heart, then completely cut contact and block him. Give yourself time to get over your loss and then, when you are ready, start your own "new beginning".
Wishing you all the best, which is only what you deserve. Stay strong.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2019): Use this to your advantage to begin your recovery and healing process. You went overboard with your Florence Nightingale act! Well it was all for naught! Standing by your man only applies when he's still your man!
Let there be no regrets for offering kindness and showing compassion; lest there were ulterior-motives or strings-attached. Did you think you'd get him back? The odds are highly against that. They're even higher against reconciliations being successful!
Write-it-off as a "my-bad" moment in your life! Straighten your back and dry your tears, sweetheart! His objective was to delay your finding yourself a new and better man! By keeping your hopes up that he's coming-back!
He wanted to be sure he got an emotional head-start from the breakup. He has been done and over with the relationship for sometime, and wanted to start dating. Meanwhile, he didn't want you to see him for the dick he really is. I'm so sorry, but this is so cliche and typical; that it's like it comes from a playbook for no-count dickish ex-boyfriends!
You should've let-go and moved-on, but you didn't!
I shoot from the hip, and call it like I see it. I came to DC as I was getting-over being blindsided and dumped. I went through a whole gambit of emotions and feelings. Then a light came-on, and I used all those hurtful-feelings to help me get-over the person who told me: "you can do better than me." And I did!
Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing what's happening in your life, or how he's affecting your emotions. It's none of his business! Keeping in-touch was only letting him know you hadn't moved-on yet. It kept his ego in-tact.
Cut all ties, discontinue contact, and mind your own business. Let him do whatever, and stop stalking him to see what he's posting online. He's free now, and so are you! He'll feel it on lonely-nights when the novelty of new-found freedom wears-off. When he's broke, and all his friends scatter to the four-winds! You should be long-gone and well out of reach...if you're smart!
Pickup your dolls and dishes...the pity-party is over, girlfriend!
Your boyfriend called himself letting you down easy. If his parents were done with him, that should have been a warning to you. All the red-flags and warnings were always evident; but you chose to ignore them. His life wasn't working-out; because he's not taking anything seriously, and that includes YOU!
Why couldn't he study for his MBA here in the United States? It's a Masters of Business Degree, internationally-recognized! The best schools are right here! You'd be hard-pressed to find better schools anywhere else in the world, for a degree that originated right here in our country! Foreign students would kill to get into our MBA programs!
Now for some tough-love and food for thought.
When you breakup with someone, you will have to learn to completely disconnect. "Being friends" is idealistic, but UN-realistic!
If you couldn't maintain as a romantic-couple; then you have to put time and space between you to get your mindset readjusted, and your life in order. Make some new friends, until you've got your ex out of your system.
Even in cases of an amicable-breakup...give yourself some space to change and grow. Let them go, and allow yourself to expand your horizons and meet new unfamiliar-people. Test varying male personality-types with your own. You may be fishing in the wrong waters!
Clinging to exes as friends after breakups, is like keeping the training-wheels on your bike, long after you know how to ride. Just in-case you have an emotional-relapse from separation-anxiety; or as an aid to suppress jealousy, should "old-reliable" meet someone else.
How can he be so insensitive? You're not a couple anymore! Two months after I got dumped, my best-friend was on vacation at a resort; and saw my ex introducing his new boyfriend at a bar! I would have done well not knowing, but you know how friends are. They're being loyal; but also hoping to witness some drama. I'm not a drama king; so I pretended to be indifferent. I was pissed! I could have bitten through a steel crowbar! Then I felt this sudden desire to forget about him, and just move on. I did, and I'm here helping people like you; now going through what I went through.
You will be over it before you know it. Give yourself a chance. If you make sure you go 100% no-contact. Block and delete! No stalking!
Read these at your leisure:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/your-ex-is-sending-mixed-signals.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-got-dumped-and-i-know-how-.html
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 July 2019):
 BLOCK all his social media and CUT all contact, it doesn't benefit EITHER of you to keep in contact. SERIOUSLY.
HE IS rubbing his social life in your face. Because YOU didn't want to play along with his "let's be friends and get all the benefits of a GF without the commitment".
Time to let go and move on.
NEITHER of you can heal and progress if you keep yourself anchored to an ex. And he IS your ex and you are his.
Focus on what you want to do in life and when you are OVER him, then you can look for someone else to date.
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