A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've post questions before and I wish to get more advice and opinion.. Recently, me and my boyfriend getting back after a rough breakup and now he's acting like he doesn't interested much like before.. From what he said he make me feel insecure about our relationship. Like, when I asked about his feeling to me, he said he's not loving me like before and doesn't want to make so much effort to make me happy anymore. But when we meet, his attitude towards me is still the same. He's still caring and loving me. But when I discuss about my feeling and our relationship he get mad and said why I always said negative things and don't try to live happily. When we don't met, I always worry and insecure, he doesn't text and call me much like before. If I ask or discuss about this, he's defensive and pull himself from me. But if I don't text him, he wonders what am I doing and happen to me. Like yesterday he said goodmorning, and I reply goodmorning then he left it there. Nothing until 8. Then he asked me about my day. Today, I said morning and he reply morning and I left it there just like he did yesterday. Then he initiate to text me asking what am I doing and so. But I reply him just a little words. Honestly I'm a bit afraid of him, I'm afraid feeling abandoned if he doesn't reply or find me. So that I left it there. Also I found that if I don't initiate to find him, text or call him, he would wonder and find me. I don't want we playing this games. I wish he could love and treat me like before. But he's kind of used to treat me this way. I know he's still love me, but why he treat me this way? Next week is my birthday and I wish he could proposed me again? Is it possible? Please give me advice on how to deal and react to his attitude.. I just want things get better and our relationship get deeper and stronger..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2014): I'm pretty sure you've posted on here lots about this...Whatever has happened, he doesn't want to be hurt again so things WILL NOT be the same as they were.He is not going to have his life revolve around you because if it doesn't work out again he will have no one. Perhaps some time apart would do you both good. It's perfectly natural to text good morning and then not bother until later on - otherwise what would you talk about if you have text each other all day?! What could he possibly be doing during the day that you get so insecure about? Just because he is not with you or texting you does not mean he is with other girls. He needs a life, as do you. You won't value each other if you never have time to miss each other.Go start some hobbies, join a running club, a gym, something that gives you other interested beside him. Your relationship doesn't sound particularly healthy. You can't push and push for is relationship to meet your expectations- or that you have to make it "deeper". Why should he propose AGAIN? He's done it once, it didn't turn out too well so he has no reason to rush and do it again. You both need to learn to trust each other and also function in a healthy relationship. That means not knowing each other's EVERY single movement, having other interests so you have stuff to talk about and actually make each other laugh and feel happy. He hasn't got an attitude, he obviously doesn't feel the same and it will take time to repair. There is no magic fix, you should start as if this was a new relationship and stop trying to have what you've lost.
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