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female
age
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*ueeny63
writes:After dating for 3 years, 2 months ago my boyfriend broke up with me. It was a terrible breakup, I still cannot believe how everything went down. I think about it and it infuriates me, that I gave him my love. One day I am upset and then the next day, I am dying to pick up the phone and call him. He did go through a very personal crisis 2 months ago. I do want to write him a letter, being that he is not picking up my calls although I called a month ago and thats what he does when he is upset. I had previously left messages first I also said some horrible things then I was the bigger person and apologized. Nothing came from him. thats fine. He can be spiteful and stubborn and cold. Why I love him don't know. I know I have to go on with my life, but how can he not call. After all that we've been through. Should I say my peace in a letter, I can express myself better in writing. And this would be my final words to him.
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female
reader, queeny63 +, writes (26 May 2009):
queeny63 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all who answered my question. Although my exboyfriend initiated the breakup, He insulted my character. For 3 years I was there for him, because I loved him. One day he loved me and the next he turns on me. I know he is grieving the loss of family, but I was there for him. I am still stunned, I was accused of so many horrible things all in his mind. I wait for an apolgy from him, and its a waste of time, I wish for a miracle, but I know him he won't budge. Two months of heartache, and I wonder if he cares that he broke my heart. So the letter would be my way of letting him know that I learned alot and I hope he gets what he is looking for. I don't want to live with any animosity in my life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): This sounds like my break up with my ex. Ugly, ugly, very ugly, we both said things we never thought we'd say to eachother, and other people, his family, got involved too. My ex, similar you yours perhaps, was never the one to deal with anger and negative feeligns well, but this time I couldnt control mine either. So I understand what you went through. BUt it's still early days, I see you posted this question today, you are still overwhelmed with contradictory emotions. I agree with everyone else here, maybe in time things will cool off and both of you will see sense, but do not hang on for that. A letter could be good, as long as it is not your way of saying 'take me back pls, only you have the control'. He may not deserve you... If he is in this sulky mood ignoring you, he is most surely reacting to you,and trying to punish you again. I think it may be a good idea to let a few days pass, to cool off in your head, then to write the letter. The more time passes , the more balance you will gain.. All the best.x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): yes a letter may give you both final closure. you were very emotional and when we are in that state we say things we sometimes cannot take back. but plse do not pin your hopes on reconciling after this letter. if he does clear his head, and may want to talk then ok, but do not wait by the phone for his response. slowly move on. if he realises you are worth it he may come back, or he may come back when it is too late and you have moved on. sometimes its all about timing. and sometimes we leave it too late.good luck and know you will survive, you are not his doormat. you value your life and no one has the right to treat us badly. take care during this emotional upheaval.
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reader, Denizen  +, writes (25 May 2009):
 I think a letter is a good idea. At least you will feel you have done all you can. Men can be sulky when they are hurt. We can act like children but that's no reason for you to act as the mummy.
Write a good letter and get on with your life. He may not deserve you. I hope it all works out well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): Since you were highly emotional and said some nasty things, I would suggest you write the letter for your own sake but not send it. Your guy is probably overwhelmed by all the emotional drama/volatility and that's why he's not contacting you. Plus, it will be a good way to sort through all your emotions and not overwhelm him. Even your last statement about "final words" sounds dramatic and emotionally loaded so I do think you need to take some time, write it out, calm down, get level headed before you even attempt to communicate with him again.
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