A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i don't know my mind and i don't know what to do , i am not american and i come to this contry with work visa for 2 years and then i know with my boyfriend about 10 months before my visa exprise , and then i get marride with him because 2 reason and need to have 2 reason , if just one i think i can not make decisson to get marride , and ones is because i think i do love him , ones because i want to stay more in this conutry ( but if i don't have person that i love i never get marride because just want to stay in this country). so after get marride we have many thing so differant and it come to fight a lot every weekend we need to have big fight and it run over the same thing, i am 29 and he 38, and we get marride not even 1 year yet and we both never get marride before and every time that we fight we usually hurt each other , like he like to talk i get marride with him because i want green card , or something like that and it seem like he don't have emotion or feeling about me to much but allway he said he love me a lot and want try to have afection with me , but i just feel like he just do it but he don't have that feeling for me it make me hurt all the time , many time that we fight and talk about divoice but i allway cry and very hurt and upset in my heart so much and we can not to it , but every day i thinking that i can not live with him every morning that i wake up , everyday i want to have sex with him but he don't have erection at all and it drive me to crezy and thinking he don't love me that why i want to stop everything and back my conutry and return everything to him , we use to talk about this thing a lot and he said he have probrem with the weight and he try to lose weight and he said is not about me . ( he 5'11" and 220 lbs) this time allmost 2 months that we don't have sex . and it make me thinking that i am not right person for him and i don't belive him that he said just about weight, that make me hurt a lot too when i hurt it become to ignore him and have a bad mood so it be cycle now and he said i make him don't feel good about his self then he don't want to have sex with me , and he is very routine person it big defferant with me because i am not routine at all and have a lot flexible , so now i think we don't feel good each other too much , because when i ignore him , he said because i want to leave from him . i think it about my hormone too that make me have a bad mood and it continue everyday , so i don't know how to do amymore ..... he want to but a house and i very want to make his dream come true like i try to work hard and save money for help deposit about down payment and give him the house if we can not live together because i can not live with him with this emotion all the time , sometime i want to die .so who gona help me out about this situation...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): So why did you come to this country? Did you get married to stay here? Sounds like you came here to meet someone to take care of you and live the american lifestyle. Nothing wrong with that but it often comes at a price. Life isn't like the movies! If you are miserable, go back home. If your dream was to live in this country, start supporting yourself financially and become independent but you can't expect a man to take care of you and for every thing to play out like a fantasy! Women work hard in this country to support themselves and often work two jobs to make ends meet. Women that want a man to rescue them often end up with men with a lot of issues. Do you want security or independence? Each has a price. I'm not being hard on you but sounds like you married out of desperation. Figure out what you want in life and what your goals are.
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