A
female
age
36-40,
*anillafrost
writes:Me and my ex broke up because he doesn't love me anymore and is tired of arguing and the relationship just doesn't work. It's been on and off a few times with 2 days of time inbetween. He wanted a stable life. Concentrate on himself. No more drama. Do as he likes. He regretted being with me but enjoyed our happy times very much. But too many bad times? His family disliked me. He broke up with me in a bad way.. just stopped contacting me after his vacation! i was worried sick and finally went to his house and he told me its over and doesnt want it anymore! after 2 weeks of beggin i was tired of it. He told me i was too persistant and it will never work no matter what i do. During this time he always picked up the phone and talked to me for hours. He's been very patient.Now, about 2 weeks later.. with short emails from each other, i've cooled down and we are able to talk to each other. I told him i am over him and its ok to be friends and im starting to hang out with other men as well but i just want to be friends with them. And some guy is stalking me, which is true. He reacts like a normal friend. He was never a jealous person but ok.. He says hes not seeing anybody and just living his life. I am happy that he wants to speak normally to me again. Me and my ex-boyfriend are also co-workers. We rarely talk to each other at work but we remain civil and act accordingly. I don't initiate conversations with him at work. I am very professional and friendly to everyone. And he is more quiet than usual. He doesnt even look at me. He says he's tired all the time?? I don't know. Sometimes(once a week) I call him to chat or at msn messenger. Im always the one who initiates the conversation outside of work. But when we do talk.. we talk for hours about anything. He speaks differently than before.. more like just a friend. different tone of voice. No more sweettalk. But we do laugh and talk on the phone, like before we were dating. Like nothing happened. Just friends. Sometimes he makes stupid jokes of hunting other girls and insist it was just a joke when i ask if its really true.(he used to joke about this when we were friends and he was chasing me) I think he doesn't wanna take a chance to upset me? He is not the type to chase around to be honest. Then why would he make those jokes? Not just one but many times! I asked him to come with me to the movies and the convention. He agreed? I was very surprised he would! We havent gone yet.. i am too nervous. is he only being polite? or do i make a chance? i dont know. Does anybody know? am i reading too much into his behavior? He is a person he won't let his feelings show. Is he only being polite by talking to me? or? Am i even doing the right thing if i wanna get him back? even though our relationship was weak.. i loved him dearly and i know at a point he loved me dearly as well... and i am changed because of him. And i want him back! please help! im going crazy.. I was his first REAL girlfriend.
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at work, broke up, co-worker, jealous, msn, my ex, says he's tired, stalking Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kristal faith  +, writes (15 January 2010):
 follow your heart.. if you have this strong instincts that he still loves you .. you make the move.. since he's not the expressive type..just make sure that you wont look inept.. God Bless.. Good luck.. follow your heart ms!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): I'm going through something similar only thing, its the other way around! My ex said the same thing to me and I reacted the same way you did. It kills me and it hurts because I never want to see it that way. We talk now but she acts just as a friend to me and she comes to see me every now and then. she always busy with her studies and she pushed me to the side. It hurts because I dont want to move on with my life without her. Its something we are both have to talk about calmly. I'm doing the best that I can! Maybe it takes some people to learn wants you moved on for good. I seen it happen with my other ex and when she tried to contact me 3 months later, it was too late! I hope it doesnt happen this time around. Though it kills me and I cried like a baby and Im a man!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): I don't really know why you want him back. He treated you very poorly by doing a disappearing act and you hunted him down and then he tells you he regrets being with you and he doesn't love you anymore?
And then you begged, that didn't work, he thought you were too persistent and then you lie and tell him that in 2 short weeks you are over him and you want to be friends.
He has agreed to go with you to an event, and he doesn't openly speak to you at work, but in private as long as you call he will talk to you for 45 minutes about anything and he has the audacity to joke with you about looking for other women.
He is just using you know because he doesn't want a relationship, he doesn't want the responsibility of one, but you are keeping him from being lonely until something better comes along.
This is not fair to you. And you really don't know how he is feeling about you because you haven't given him what he wants, no YOU, and he can't miss you if you won't go away.
If some man tells you that they don't love you, that they don't want a relationship, then they don't get the privilege of having you around to wean themselves off of you either. You reward that kind of crappy behavior with distance. You stop taking his calls, stop talking to him on MSN or emailing or texting or sending smoke signals.
You go non contact for at the very minimum one month.
Then if he wants to see you that badly, he can come knock down your door.
He just doesn't care that much I am afraid, and you need to get your energy out of there and move on with your life. The longer you keep pursuing him the longer it will take you to heal and the more hurt you will be especially if he meets someone new....then you will feel as if he chose her over you, which really wouldn't be the case because he told you that it was over between the two of you. Believe him.
I am sorry you are going through this. Break ups are the worst, but don't be a doormat for this guy. Tell him to stay out of your life, you need to move on and then do it.
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