A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,So i just contacted my ex after like 15 days to contact no seeing eachother its been about 3 months since we broke up he is currently with someone new.I contacted him just say hey how are you doing. And then i said well just to let you know you can contact me wheneverAnd he said that wont be happening, and said he knows how he feels about her blah blah.I know people say ignore this and everything your ex says isnt entirely the truth but he was like im in a relationship so respect that and dont talk to me.I was honestly just trying to be friendly? I told him this and know he is starting to ease up. I realize at first i was criticizing his relationship and saying he had it all wrong and that he knows he still loves me god i ALWAYS do this even when i dont mean to i just want to hear those words from him so bad that he wants me and not hear. But i realize it takes time. It just SUCKS! and then he says i know what im doing and im happy doing. this is probably the same thing i'd say if someone told me i had it all wrong. Any advice on what to do next? Hi im just looking for some real advice from people who know how to get an ex maybe? or know something on long those lines.Well right now im in another relationship and so is he but lately i cant get him out of my head, its been 3 months since we broke up and now he is like madly in love with a new girl and tell me its just not the same between us it crushes me whenever he says this ugh its so frustrated. I feel like maybe its not even time for him to start thinking about our relationship positively again? But lately its all i think about! i dont even remember the bad times all i know is that i want to make-up with him and maybe start over someday!But he says he is in a relationship and again "were not the same"I just want some tips on how to get him to contact me i've texted him a couple times but he doesnt seem nearly as interested in my life as i am in his maybe this is because ive been missing him lately should i just give him more time to miss me?Ugh, it makes me so worried thinking about if he will EVER feel "the same" again. it cant just go away over nite? I feel like i have a positive advantage by having a history but everytime i think this he just lowers my confidence by saying things like "well you dont talk to me like a friend, you always bring up how we used to be or your feelings and i dont want that" I know they say when your ex says there doing great dont take what they say seriously and just because they say this person is the love of there life doesnt mean its true. And he repeatedly says i dont have feelings for you i dont have feelings for you like he is trying to convince himself of it and i guess experts say dont fall for that either they are most likely doing some convincing in there head that they dont have feelings for you.I want to be JUST friends with him and maybe build up to maybe working things out again? but how do i do this when he seems half as interested in talking to me? Eventually i want him to contact me and ask me how my day is or something about my life how do i go about this? Do i just have to bare being the initiater for a while?Some advice from people who have maybe been through the same thing or what you did to get your ex interested in your life again even if they were with someone else, would be greatly appreciated!Thanks guys!
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female
reader, SeXylOvE12 +, writes (15 January 2010):
 In terms of you not being able to get your ex out of your head, I think you have a classic case of wanting what you can't have. Your ex seems very happy in his new relationship, and you should let him be happy. I understand that you're missing him, but if he doesn't want you back there is nothing you can do. There's a saying that says, "if you love someone set them free, if they come back to you they're yours, and if they don't they never were." You need to put yourself in his shoes. What if you were the one moving on and happy in a new relationship and he was contacting you telling you he only wanted to be friends and then started asking why you don't have feelings for him anymore. You wouldn't like it one bit. And you aren't at the point where you can just be friends, if that really is what you want. Or, are you just talking to him because you want him back? Regardless, i think that you should stop contacting him until you are over him. Step back and remind yourself that your relationship with him is in the past.
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