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male
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anonymous
writes: hi there, me and my girlfriend split up nearly 3 months ago,we were together 4 years. to start with we still kept in touch every few days and said that we didnt want to lose the friendship that we have and deep down i kind of thought that we might sort things out. havent heard anything for 3 weeks now but dont want to seem like im bothering her by texting or phoning. i will be ok and not dwell on it for a couple of days and then i cant stop thinking about her for the next couple. there has been this other girl that gave me her number and wants to meet up, but so far i havent felt like i wanted to. please can anyone give me some advice on what to do? i thought that i would be slighty more over her than i am by now??
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2006): I'm sorry to hear what happened. And I'm afraid to say that it could be more than a few months before you even stop thinking about her because you hope that you will still be with her. Not being harsh at all, I have been there myself, but, I think you need to try and cut your hopes of getting with her again. I myself, have made the mistake of thinking of getting back together, but it only prolongs the inevitable -loss. If you do it this way, then if you were to get back together *not building hopes* it will be better.
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female
reader, charlie432 +, writes (14 February 2006):
four years! I still thinking about my ex of TWO years, and we've been split up for nearly 6 months! to get over something like that takes time, don't rush yourself. don't meet up with this new gil until you are ready, if you do she'll be your "rebound" and she'll get hurt in the process. go out with mates and have a laugh. if you need to, stay at home and cry! I did! for a few months! but now i'm over it, me and my ex are friends, i work for him occassionally too. we both have new partners (which is weird don't get me wrong), but we can both deal with it. don't rush the grievings process otherwise you'll end up more hurt than you already are. Charlie x
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A
female
reader, lisa_01  +, writes (14 February 2006):
 4 years is a long time, you just cant get over someone almost straight away, it may take weeks or months before you feel like you can go out and take intrest in others, give it abit more time in the mean time go out a little maybe do something you usally would not do and meet some new people, i dont suggest dating someone untill you know all your feelings and love are only going to be focused on them and you are not thinking of your ex so often.
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