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female
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*ngrychick69
writes: I've been with my boyfriend nearly 7 months and it's been great. We're always open and talk about things, but two weeks ago it changed. He started having family problems and has become more stressed out. He also lost his job and now he get angry with me easily; it's me that has to say sorry first. I must admit, he always says sorry back and it was his fault he owns up to it, but I have to say sorry first. He hardly tells me anything and feel like he pushing me away. I've tried to talk to him but he gets annoyed. I don't know what to do. Should I give him space and wait for him to come to me? I don't know what else to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2006): Back rite off...they need their caves, unfortunately for u , u feel like u want to comfort them. He obviously cant take responsibilty for his own actions or feelingss...making u say sorry first...makes that pretty clear. Just let him know you are there for him if he wants to talk, and just leave him alone. Get on with your own life. Or you'll find he'll catch on to the fact that u r more than willing to take responsibilty for his every move...and once they start that cycle its really hard to break!! trust me!! also let him know (nicely as you can) that u dont appreciate his anger towards you and just leave it at that for now i think.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2006): Im going to put him in my shoes... What would I want from my partner if I was super stressed, having family problems, and lost my job? I want time to think things through. I want to drive around the city at night by myself or one of my close male friends and just talk about stuffs including about my partner. I'll visit some memorable places in which I've had good experiences before - with my partner, past partners, friends, etc. I want time to sort out my family problems, I need the space to rest and reflect. What will I expect from my gf this whole time? I want her to make an effort to try to comfort me without getting into my mind/thoughts. I will confront her with my mind/thoughts when things get better. So how will she comfort me? In silence, she can give me a shoulder rub, call once a night for a good night, maybe make some pudding for me. I hope she won't ask me about what is bothering me, not now, cuz I just don't want to think nor talk about it.
It may look selfish, but I'm not asking her to do anything for me, except be my comfort zone. Don't be in my way so often, but still be close enough to show me that she is close-by.
Mind you, it may be 'different' for other guys. What I said here, is just to give you an idea.
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