A
female
age
30-35,
*is_Lilly
writes:So..Basically, my boyfriend and I broke up. It's been about two months now, but I still love him. Or at least, I think I loved him, and the feeling won't go away. I'm not quite sure what love really is, but I think I loved him in some way.He has a new girlfriend too. And it hurts. Everyday it feels like it's getting harder and harder to breathe. I can't stop thinking about him, he's always on my mind no matter what I'm doing. I try not to show it to my friends. I bottle it up until I get home, thinking it'll be easier to let it all out when I'm alone, but then I never do because I know it's pointless crying.I've always believed that you don't just wake up, and stop loving somebody, but I guess I was wrong. I know we won't get back together, and he seems happy. To be honest, that's great. I want him to be happy. But... I want to know when the pain will stop.I don't even want to write this, because I'm trying to move on. I'm trying to ignore the fact that I seriously DON'T like his new girlfriend, and that I miss all the things we did together, what he said to me.All the broken promises...It feels like some part of me is gone now.I don't like it. So please, can somebody help? I'm only 15, coming on 16. I don't like feeling like this.Why does it feel like this pain will never stop?Also, how can I change my name? Considering... I'm not "his" Lilly anymore.
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female
reader, ladycham1991 +, writes (26 December 2007):
i was in the same possition as you about 4 years ago and you no in your heart if you really loved him because the pain is there where he used to be i really want to say that the pain will go away and you'll never think about him again and when you see him with anouther gir it wont brake your heart but thats not true you need to find a place where your okay with being apart and its not easy but once you do that pain will lessin and you will be able to open your heart to someone new but frst you have to deal with the pain and then put it away in your heart dont be afraid to love again like iam good luck if you have anymore questions you can ither email me at
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A
female
reader, truly_unique  +, writes (26 December 2007):
aw dont worry love im pretty much going through the exact same thing as you.
we were friends for a year before we dated aswell!
time has healed the pain just a bit.
all i can say is that the best thing is to let your emotions out. seriously. it sounds so pathetic but it makes the world of difference if even for a day. go to your best friend. spend the day together and have a serious bitching session! let it all out. crying or screaming jsut get it all out. you will feel so much better. if you dont particulary like to tell ur feelings to the world just write them down. dont stop until youve written five pages.
once all your feelings are out pamper yourself like the queen you are. if it really hasnt helped then try writig your ex a letter and explain your feelings. im not the writing person usually but i managed a whopping four and a half pages of very big paper with very small writing! then sealed it and give it to him. tel him to either read it or burn it youve done ur bit then next is up to him. just giving it to him wil make you feel so much better no lie.
i hope time will heal things better for you. for the both of us.. men can be such pigs lol
just try it..youve got nothing to lose...except pent up emotion
xx
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A
female
reader, jean21  +, writes (26 December 2007):
 hello,your problem just the same on me,last 2months i broke up with him also,it hurts and i cried all night,i know what u feel right now,just keep on praying and move on...hope it will help...
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A
female
reader, flyingtiger  +, writes (26 December 2007):
I'm so sorry you have go through this. The pain you are feeling is evident through your post. Reading your post made me cry because I too have been through a breakup and understand how broken and empty it leaves you. I don't know how long it will take for the pain to go away, but what helped me through my breakup was surrounding myself with friends and distracting myself by staying busy. I also tried to minimize the time I spent alone, because when no one else was around, I found myself missing him and starting to feel the pain again. So the best advice I can give you is to try to distract yourself by staying busy, and maybe refrain from having a boyfriend until you are a little older and ready to start thinking about long-term commitments. (I am 22 and only just recently had my first boyfriend. I have decided not to be in a romantic relationship with anyone from now on unless I feel like I could marry him. There are many benefits to having a boyfriend, but it's not worth the pain and brokenness after the breakup.)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2007): I'm so sorry you have go through this. The pain you are feeling is evident through your post. Reading your post made me cry because I too have been through a breakup and understand how broken and empty it leaves you. I don't know how long it will take for the pain to go away, but what helped me through my breakup was surrounding myself with friends and distracting myself by staying busy. I also tried to minimize the time I spent alone, because when no one else was around, I found myself missing him and starting to feel the pain again. So the best advice I can give you is to try to distract yourself by staying busy, and maybe refrain from having a boyfriend until you are a little older and ready to start thinking about long-term commitments. (I am 22 and only just recently had my first boyfriend. I have decided not to be in a romantic relationship with anyone from now on unless I feel like I could marry him. There are many benefits to having a boyfriend, but it's not worth the pain and brokenness after the breakup.)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2007): Awww...you poor thing. I'm 15 too - but luckily I haven't had a break up yet....but then again...I haven't had a bf yet either! This probably won't help but they say 'it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.'
And don't worry the pain will stop. I don't know how long it will be, perhaps you'll always carry some sort of feelings for him, but you do have to move on - hard though it is.
Maybe you should have a good cry - I know its pointless but it always helps me. I find it hard to express my emotions to others so if I cry it lets out my sadness. But then again everyone is different - so maybe that will not work for you.
If you are trying to move on - I would say don't forget or ignore the fact that you and him were gf and bf, but instead think to yourself 'yes, I was his gf and we had some good times, but now I must be happy to find more good times'...if that makes sense.
I guess now you might want to get busy with stuff - I knwo its xmas today, so you should be busy enough, but it is the holidays so you are going to have more time to think. Perhaps overload on your hobbies??
I don't think you will ever lose the pain completely - but I believe that it will fade gently. Time is a healer and I'm sure you will be fine. =]
Hope you've had a great xmas! =] x x x
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