A
male
age
,
*alkonby
writes:I hurt so much, I want to hide inside the dark from reality; I dislike the new day since my girl left. I gave her every thing she wanted, maybe I was buying her love. I bought her what she wanted because I loved her and wanted her to be happy. She wanted to smoke grass and I don't do that so she found a guy who does and now I'm alone again. I am too old for this stress; I have deleted her number from my phone but its still in my head. I can close my eyes and see her, I can hear her voice call my name. If the plan in life was to be without her how did she get in and why stay for three years?Now I have to go on I know but it hurts deep, so deep.Where do I go? please suggest what I can do? I can give advice to others but not to myself.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2015): It is a awful feeling,of dismay,and being lonely.Time is a obvious answer.Maybe,get a dog or a cat,they will help pass the time away.I am going thru heartbreak after 2 long yrs.It isso sad,that you truely love someone and they say all the right things but, come to find out,it was all BS!He has been lying to me,for about a year?He won't admit shit but,the biatches name is on his. Body,on his work gloves,his stuff seems like everything he wears. It is so stupid of him because he denies knowing anybody with that name,so I'm crazy,and I'm making it up. Yeah right,I have never gone thru this crap befor. He owns his house and he could of been so? We could of been so happy but, no we won't.He's a lying cheater.Hope u feel better now. ?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2015): Im going through a break up too. Just know there are people who are in the same boat as you and we are all going to make it together. Life seems like it sucks, like why were we born to just feel so damn awful.
But we are here nonetheless. It will get better for us. It has to. And your heart is bigger and more beautiful than hers could ever be. Know that. And there will be happiness for us sooner and later.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (1 March 2015):
 The agony of a break up is real.
And you reached out for help. I really applaud you for choosing to ask for held. That is real strength. It gave me hope that you can overcome this challenge and go on to greater things and a nice new Gf at some time in the future.
You already know what you do NOT want and you have some idea of what you DO want = a settled life with a loving companion.
Yes it will take a little time to get over it.
And yes, being too generous with giving "things" to a girlfriend will cause you to attract users.
Be good to yourself first.
And who said your age is too old to find love again? That's a mind-set that is not helping you one iota.
I'd like to see you shake up some of your long held beliefs about what is real and what is not. And what is old and what is not.
I have met people in their 20s who think they have already seen and experienced all there is to experience. Recently I visited a former teacher and she is a sprightly young lady in her mindset and is in her 80s. Right now she is exploring doing some more studies and she has her own paintings all around her walls. She relaxes by painting.
She takes an active interest in current affairs and she dresses nicely. She was excited to tell me about how she follows the careers of some of her students who have kept in touch.
I have met people in their 40s and 50s who sound older and more defeated that this sprightly lovely lady in her 80s
Do not let the world pass you by and do not allow this woman to ruin your life.
You are well rid of a woman who used the flimsy excuse that you would not do something illegal with her so she ditched you for another guy who would.
You need a nicer class of girl than this girl who found n excuse to leave you after 3 years.
but don't start looking yet.
Instead work on finding some interesting things to do with your time.
See if you can take up walking and work on your fitness.
Check if it is time you bought a few nice new clothes for you.
Check out if there is a nice place that you have not yet visited that you would like to visit.
Try to vary your routine.
Shake things up a little. Work out if you could rearrange the furniture at home.
Can you clean out some junk that you have allowed to accumulate.
Volunteer work is a great way to shake out the cobwebs about how you think of yourself.
You are now completely in control of your own life. You are the captain of your ship.
Yes you are very lonely.
Yes your are sad. That is understandable. So get a full check up with the Doctor and tell him how you are feeling. Do NOT minimise how bad you are feeling. Lay it all out for the Doctor and ask for his support and advice.
Depression is one of the most easily treatable illnesses a person can suffer - and it is extremely debilitating if it is not treated.
Do NOT be too hard on yourself. Do you realise that 25% of all people in any community will become depressed at least once in their lifetime and severely enough to need professional support from a Doctor.
Do NOT drown your sorrows with liquor as that only prolongs the agony
How long since you learnt some new recipes in the kitchen? Time to discover some new foods and some new recipes.
lady
Three years ago you found this lady who you have just broken up with.
That is not a long time.
Do NOT go looking in bars for your next Gf. Instead get out and about into the community.
I found this cute little FREE quiz that is just for men. If you can cope with the accent I found it amusing and very straight shooting with some or all questions that are possibly relevant to your situation: http://www.mantherapy.org.au/mind-quiz
Persist with the quiz. It's not a long quiz but is well done. I didn't find the accent too hard, but then I like Liam Neeson, Colin Firth and Hugh Jackman so I cope with different accents. My husband understands that I like the unattainable !!!
When I lost my first husband I thought I would never recover and sadly I cried regularly for 2 years.
Even when I met my second husband I was so wary and concerned that it might not work that I asked if he would tolerate taking things very slowly. He worked in the next building over from mine.
So at first we only saw each other at lunch time and we met for lunch for ages and did not go on dates until I was completely comfortable with moving on. So in that time we exchanged books we each liked. We got to know everything about each other's thoughts on life and our values and attitudes. He never pressured me about taking things slowly and I really appreciated that.
If he had not been really serious about me he would have given up during the time we only met for lunch.
There are nice ladies out there who would be delighted to know you.
One day you will bless the day she left you for such a shallow reason.
When that time comes you will no doubt be with your next love of your life.
I wish you all the best with your quest to overcome this temporary road block.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (1 March 2015):
When you open your eyes again from your dreams I hope you realized that she was no good for you and perhaps neither of you had much in common. Was she really meant for you? I don't think so. Why punish yourself for something that is not your fault? Get out there and have some fun. Go hang out with your friends. Meet new people. If you have a lot of love to give then get out there and find someone worth giving it to. Not someone who leaves you on a random bad habit.
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