A
female
age
26-29,
*tarkidisAmazing
writes:Hey girls and guys . Heres the back story to my problem. I've been in love with the same guy (my best guy friend) since I met him 3/4 years ago. However our relationship is not what I wish it could have been. The first time I tried to tell him my feelings a close friend (who knew my feelings) kissed him infront of me and they dated. Being a supportive friend I smiled and didn't complain because I wanted him to be happy. They broke up a year later because she cheated on him with another guy.Then we had a trip down to London wher again I tried to tell him but another girl (not my friend his friend) teased me and told me I was making a mistake. And that year the guy and annother one if my friends began to become close. They always held hands and I couldn't stand it so often left the room so I didn't cry infront of them. I knew he loved her so I tried to move on to a friend of mine who asked me out. I said yes but immediately felt awful like I was leading him astray. I did like him but never love only a sibling feeling. Whilst I was dating this guy however my love started to date this other girl and it tore me apart. I separated from the guy I was seeing and the feelings were mutual as we were close friends not romantic partners.I couldn't get my love out of my head but I knew I had to for my friends sake. She's just recently broken up with him after 7 months and is now flirting with other guys making him sad.This is the second time I've been the one comforting him and it breaks my heart to see him like this. The problem? Im moving to a level sixthform now so I wont see him again in 3 to 4 months time and im fed up of crying over the guy who always chooses the other girls every time. Should I tell him my built up emotions or should I do nothing? Should I confess the love I have for him or is it unfair on the guy I dated? Should I tell him or is it wrong? Please do help me. Thankyou for taking the time to read this.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (2 March 2015):
I would really love to say go for it, have your happy ending. The trouble is, you have already tried twice to confess your feelings. He’s dated other girls, so it does seem reasonable to conclude that he’s relatively confident about dating, and confident with girls. I might advise differently if I thought he were too shy ever to make the first move. If he really was in love with you, he didn’t have to date other girls. If you’re going to be separated anyway soon I think you would be better off accepting that it wasn’t to be, and letting go. That will undoubtedly be hard for you but with time you’ll be able to move on.
I wish you all the very best.
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