A
male
age
36-40,
*c1985
writes:Hi I broke up with my ex about a year ago. We lived together for 2 years and were together for about 4. I really miss her and think about her every day. I havent been with anyone since as every time I meet someone I shy away because I still love my ex. Its like shes part of me. I don't think its right for us to get back together because she drives me crazy. So if I don't think we should be together then why the hell do I keep thinking about her!? Also I phone her too often, like twice a week or more like im compelled to do so. We speak friendly and get on like good friends. If I love someone like this then should I just try and be with her (she does'nt know what she wants either)? It feels wrong to forget about her. Im soo confused.
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male
reader, cc1985 +, writes (5 September 2011):
cc1985 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thanks for the answers! I have done alot to try and move on. I have been abroad a few times and done some awesome things. I took up skiing and road biking which I both really love, Ive made some new friends, Ive moved house. I havent contacted her for two weeks now and it has helped and I intend to keep it up! I do still think about her alot and want to phone her but I won't! She emailed me just after i wrote the first message about how she has been seing somebody but not serious (it still hurt), she also told me it hurt her to tell me this. She also said that I am not hers and we can never be together again. She is still on facebook and I avoid it because I dont want to even see her profile pic as it upsets me. Thought of removing her but it seems really harsh. We broke up because she wouldn't take resposibility for herself financially, I didnt want her to leave but it was depressing having no money to do anything because I was paying both our rent, bills, etc. She resented that I paid for everything, thinking i was taking her independence even though I encouraged he to find a job. She wanted a teaching job and nothing else, there were other jobs she could have done temporarily. Even something part time would of helped. It all seemed wrong, I got fed up and ended it.I still love her but it just wont work. She has a job now but lives in the place I grew up 300 miles away with her parents. I want someone more independent than her who wont resent me for being nice but I feel that until I meet someone who is like that and have feeling for im gonna still think about her.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 August 2011):
 Does she really drive you crazy? Or are you driving yourself crazy?
Did you do any changes in your life after the break-up? If not, then it's much needed. By making a change you go to a new period in your life, allowing yourself to develop. Appears you didn't do this? Because usually when you move on with the rest of your life, your heart follows with and moves on as well.
If you have moved on, but she's still on your mind and in your heart... then why not try to be with her again, if she'll have you? Maybe she does drive you crazy, but maybe you need her.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (23 August 2011):
 If you don't want to be with her, then let her go. You still think about her because you haven't ended communication with her.
So why did you break up with her in the first place? I know it's a lot more than "she drives me crazy". Did someone cheat?
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (23 August 2011):
 You will never get over her while you are still in contact with her. Try to distance yourself from her. You are probably shying away from other girls because, with your ex still so much in your life, you might feel that it would be a betrayal to her if you dated other women. So come to terms with the fact that its over, stop calling her, and in time I'm certain that you will be able to move on. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2011): dont waste your life. I bet she isnt.
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