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*edsprite
writes:Dear Cupid I am involoved with a 22 year old male, we 'gel' I am 45 He feels that it is morally wrong, while I think that at some point he will decide that I am to old for him.- we both have issues around our age, him in particular as he lives with his family who are very close and supportive of each other, my family all live far enough away from me to not find out until I choose if and when to tell them. this is no usual involvement - I have unconditional love for this man - we have on his suggestion stayed away from each other, but this has caused more anxiety and distress then being together, (we have tried this on more than one occassion,) we always come back together and our union is then even stronger. We seem to have such a strong bond.any advise for us? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): Stop being such a predator and date someone your own age. Honestly, if you were a man dating a women this age, you'd be considered pathetic. Hey cougar, it's no different for you.
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female
reader, redsprite +, writes (2 June 2007):
redsprite is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to all who responded to my question, just thought I'd update you on the situation - sadly, my younger man has ended our relationship, he just cannot cope with the age difference. while I am sad that it has ended this way I have no regrets and feel that my life is richer for having shared time with him. love and best wishes to all out there.x
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female
reader, redsprite +, writes (29 May 2007):
redsprite is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear anonymous, thank you so much for the time and energy you put into your response. I loved your story and wish you love and happiness. I will suggest to my man (I have started to think of him as this since posting my question and recieving so many good wishes and positive responses) that we talk things through and hopefully we can work together to get over these issues that are holding us back x
p.s meant to rate as excellent!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2007): Being a 48 year old woman involved with a 25 year old man i can relate to most of your problems.I too have gone through constant doubts, worried about reactions from family and friends and society as a whole.I worried about the longevity of such a relationship, im a grandmother, he has never had children. Am i doing wrong by him, taking away his chance of a family..when he could be with a woman his own age who can offer him a future. Having already a failed relationship behind me, it seemed such a huge gamble.. i kept asking myself why i was putting myself through it all..what chance is there making such a relationship work, what future is in it, why does he want to be with me, i literally fought against all my feelings of why too's for why not's, when in reality being with him was what made me the happiest. From the day we met, we have been drawn to each other just like yourselves, what we thought was going to be a friendship, never happened, the sparks flew as soon as our eyes met and indeed still are..We differ on the one fact he is quite happy with our relationship, he does not care what anyone else thinks, he assures me im all he wants, children or not..whenever i put up any protest he simply says im the one he loves,and wants to be with, in fact i sometimes wonder who is the younger!! Actually talking things through helps, i was so worried about why he wants to be with me, i never thought he could have worries that he could not fulfil my expectations.. we women are so good at putting ourselves down instead of excepting we can be loved for who we are whatever age..Its true, love does find the way, i too have tried to analyse it all, it does not work and is a waste of energy, why was i trying to convince myself it was wrong, because of the age difference when everything within the relationship is so right. I have never been so happy..he gives me everything i want and need, so why try and create problems when there is'nt really any and enjoy what i have, instead of trying to convince him and myself that we should not be together as we dont comform to whats normal!!!Well, we've met each others families and friends.. ive learned to relax and let us just be us, i love him and he loves me and we have fantastic relationship.. so im going to go with the flow and what happens happens... there is no guarentee with any relationship, same age or not..We chose to be together and if no-one else likes it then thats thier problem.Lifes too short and im going to hold onto my lovely younger man for as long as he wants me and enjoy every minute.. if life presents problems.. and it will.. we'll work on them together.
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reader, redsprite +, writes (29 May 2007):
redsprite is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank -you eve, with all this positive advice I am feeling more confident about our relationship and begining to believe that we can celebrate what we have together. x
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reader, AskEve +, writes (29 May 2007):
 It's obvious there's a very strong chemistry between you. Forget what anyone else thinks, life is too short so enjoy one anothers company. My husband was 24 years older than I was and the age was never a problem, it's only what you make it. Go for it and be happy.
Eve
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reader, redsprite +, writes (28 May 2007):
redsprite is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank - you for such lovely responses - this is what we need to hear.
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female
reader, candy00s +, writes (28 May 2007):
 Its clear you both like one another - age is just a number.
Dont worry about what anyone else thinks, as long as you are both happy.
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male
reader, DV1  +, writes (28 May 2007):
 If you two like each other, who cares about the age? You are two legal, consenting adults. He's over the age of 21, which means that he's more adult than young adult. If you keep finding each other, than you love each other, and love always wins out. If he has any brothers, they'll pat him on the back, because older women are like a fine wine when it comes to dating.
DV1
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