A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I started fooling with this boy and things got serious. I've always had commitment issues. So has he. His stems from cheating and mine from a fear of intimacy in any form. Even though feelings developed on my part; it was never mentioned and I pretended to be interested when he spoke of other girls. Because, hey man, we were just friends, right?Wrong. One day he left me a note. Simply saying he was in love. I didn't know how to take it, he didn't even write who. I assumed it was him ending things. So I stayed away, and simply tried to shrug him off. And he went on about his normal life, sleeping around.I ran into him recently and, ignored him for the most part. The look on his face was crushing. Now, I can't get him out of my head again. Even though I have a huge fear of intimacy that stems from a unstable home, and he has a huge cheating problem - ought I risk it, even if I might just be another pawn in his game?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 November 2009):
I dont think you should risk it at the moment. You both need to address your own commitment and trust issues before either of you come together. If you're having fears of intimacy, then you need to look at this before anything happens, so when you do meet a guy who really does like you, you'll be able to have a good relationship. I think you'd be better focusing on yourself for now, and really looking at those intimacy issues, even if you have to see a therapist to talk about it. Don't get involved with this guy at all, because it may be that he will hurt you and you don't need that right now. Focus on yourself and your intamcy issues for now, and when you're ready, you'll find the guy for you. Good luck.
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