A
female
age
30-35,
* Beautiful Disaster
writes:Here's the thing: My boyfriend and I broke up a while ago because he didn't know what he wanted and also wanted to be more independent as we're both only young. Because I was confused as to whether we were still together or not, I ended the relationship. I've wanted to get him back, and still do, but I think that what I've done has ruined everything :/ he's been the most amazing thing in my life so far, and we just seemed to fit together like a jigsaw puzzle :)At the start (after the break up) he was trying to contact me, but now he's given up contact. He's been talking to this other girl lately, and although he says he loves me, he just allowed her to post things all over his wall on facebook, some of which really made me angry and hurt me. (I mean, why would you say to a girl you love her, then as a "joke" flirt with this other girl like mad knowing that I could see it? it's just cruel). Due to this extreme anger of mine, I cracked and said to him "please can you just ask her out before I do for you?!" and I really regret saying this. It turned into a huge argument, with me pouring out my emotions to him because he didn't treat me well at all during our relationship of over a year. It always felt as though I was giving 100% and he only gave about 3. By the end of the argument, we both really disliked one another a lot, and he said that he wanted to be friends up until this argument commenced. He then texted me afterwards telling me how he couldn't really stay friends at all, and that this was goodbye, and that he'll really miss me and still loves me. He previously told me to move on, and I said I'm trying, and that put his back up a bit. By this point, I'd really started to regret talking to him in the first place that evening, but he needed to know that I wasn't going to stand being treated like a toy the whole time. This morning I found that he'd deleted me on facebook, but he had not deleted me from messenger. He was online earlier, but I just ignored him. I really want him back, though I believe that I've scuppered all chances of this happening now. He's my first proper long-term relationship, and the first guy I've ever loved.By the way, he's really stubborn, and rarely changes his opinion on things, but I know that he does come around and forgave me before when we started an argument that wasn't as huge as this one.I'm so stuck, I really want him back again, and to be back in my arms, and feel completely lost without him. It's been tearing me apart for the last month or so.Would someone please be so kind as to give me some help? :/Thank you :) 3
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female
reader, A Beautiful Disaster +, writes (23 May 2010):
A Beautiful Disaster is verified as being by the original poster of the question I saw his new girlfriend yesterday, and I was so tempted to tell her to be careful with him, but then I thought, I don't want to make things even more worse than they actually are between myself and this guy at the minute.
He said he's only with her because I started to move on, but I actually haven't, so that's clearly an excuse. One of his friends who tried to break us up the first time commented on his new relationship status saying that he'd made a "significant improvement" and that his new girlfriend "doesn't look like a bloody horse" which is pretty cruel.
I'm actually pretty confused as to how I feel - I want him back, but I don't :/ I want him to be happy, and I want to still have him in my life somehow, even though he said he hates me and never wants to speak to me again.
He said he only wants to see me happy - but I was happy when I was with him? I don't understand.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 Sorry to hear that. You did all you could and there's nothing more you can do except to move on and have no more contact with him.
If he is yours , he will come back to you . He sounds rather immature.
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A
female
reader, A Beautiful Disaster +, writes (21 May 2010):
A Beautiful Disaster is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI sent him an apology, quite a long one, and he replied yesterday saying that "(my) message was nice" and today I found out he's with that girl that he sent my birthday text to,I messaged him saying that my apology obviously meant nothing, and he said that I'd moved on, so he felt he had to do so too. Then because I was angry and hurt, he said I was "evil" and that he never wanted to speak to me again. Lovely. For being upset after being with the guy over a year he calls me evil, and now he's with a school student - when he's actually at university. I know now I'm better off without him, and he clearly can't find anyone his own age.Thanks for the help :) xo
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (18 May 2010):
You need to eat humble pie and apologize to him . Do not argue with him and accept his perspective even if you don't agree with him.
If you love him , you should try to please him and walk that extra miles for him.
Avoid those contentious issues and focus on those positive ones that will bring you closer together.
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