A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi i am in a relationship and have been for two years + my partner has a work mobile phone and recieves calls on it from women that he has trained on a personal level he says that it should not be a problem but i see that it is ???the other thing is that he has been telling me for the last twelve months that he is going to change his job cause he works on a national level so he is away alot and he said that it does not work for the family or us a couple do you think that he will????and we are arguing alot now because of the job he does not like me asking where he is going to or from work and if i do ask him then he builds these walls up and gets very deffensive and angary and arrogant then he laughs in my face. and then starts to call me names like scrubber tells me that he hates me that he has hated every moment of our relationship and that i am a bad mum the names tat he does call me are unbelieveable really cause then he will tell me tat he really does love me but then carrys the argument on then teling me then that it is over and that he is moving out he wil pak his things and then when he is about to go he then gets really wound up and then gets a bit violent starts to grab me then shake me and the grab me by the throat he now tells me that this is the last straw if it does not work this time then it will have to end he leaves me with all the thoughts of what he has said and called me and then i start nit to eat and then i get really low i do not have any one else to talk to as all my family have deserted me cause of my new partner just need some one elses oppion from an out side point of view cause the last two times that we have argued like this then cause of what he says and calls me i have took a swing at him the last time and then tis time please can you give me a bit of advice thanks
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (24 April 2008):
 Forgot to add that the article is called "Warning signs you're dating a loser."
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 April 2008):
This sounds like a deeply troubled relationship and you need to focus on your personal safety and well-being now. There's a very good article by "Ask oldersister" in the Articles page. Please go read that and ask yourself if this is the situation you're in; then start reaching out for help. Emily is quite right that you should contact your family as I'm sure they would want to help you. You might be thinking that they've abandoned you because of him, but I'm sure that they would want the best for you. You could also ring a battered womens helpline--I expect you could find one by dialing directory assistance. They could help you decide what steps you can take to help yourself.Don't put yourself or your children in harm's way, and if this man is violent and abusive, then you are at risk. This can't be good for your children to see the way you're being treated at home.Call a friend for help too, don't be embarassed, I'm sure people will understand!Good luck in getting help.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (24 April 2008):
This man is a violent controlling horrible excuse for a human being.
Do you want your children growing up thinking this is how a man should treat his wife?
Ring your family. I doubt they have deserted you, just probably given up on trying to convince you he is no good.
See if you can go there and stay for a few days.
You need to get out of this place or you will end up in hospital or dead.
2 women a week are killed in the UK by violent partners.
Good Luck!! xx
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