A
male
age
30-35,
*hrisj
writes:Is it ok to have sex when you are 14 and totally in love with your girlfriend and she is totally in love with you? I will definatley use a condom becasue we really do not want her to get pregnant. I know this probably sounds stupid and an obvious answer but i just want to know what people think.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Chrisj +, writes (6 March 2008):
Chrisj is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust wanted to say thanks. We have talkeded and decided to wait until we are older
A
female
reader, Krystelle +, writes (5 March 2008):
its almost always the same in these cases. the guy is ready and doesnt think its a big deal losing your virginity. but to a girl it means a lot. well it should. so unless youve talked about everything.. like how long have you been together? and also that its been proven something like 70% of teenagers break up within 2 weeks after having sex for the first time. do you really think you could be in that little 30%?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): My son is 14 and has been with his girlfriend for 8 months now. He asked me what age can I have sex as we both love each other? I said that emotionally you are not ready for it yet, but obviously physically you are. That in a few years time, you will have to look at whether it is the right time but not yet. He had to admit that I was right and although they felt it was right , they knew they had to wait and appreciate it when it finally does happen. Please be careful and show your love for each other in different ways until you are older.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): No, there are plenty of ways you can show how much you care, without breaking the law. It is an adult act, She will regret it and wish she had waited until she was older.
What about taking her for a meal, to the cinema, buying her flowers or a necklace? Please dont push the sex thing, anyway often sex isnt a show of love these days its just something adults do. I would prefer a gift.
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (5 March 2008):
 No, your both too young. She'll regret it when she's older anyway, she properly love you more if you say wait. Wait till your 15 at least
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): No i think it is not a good idea cause my friend had sex when she was 14 years old and she said it was a mistake and i wished that she didn't have sex at the age of 14.
Be smart and not have sex till you get older, like 16-18 years old
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): Honestly no at 14 you are not ready for sex and neither is her body. the female body isnt completely matured until 16. its in your best interest to wait until you are both older and if youre so much in love than im sure you two can handle waiting.
-good luck--
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): No and you are wise enough at 14 to know that its not a good idea. Someday your child will wonder the same thing. Hopefully, your reply will not come from first-hand experience of the emotional fallout of such a decision at such an early age.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): IF you are TOTALLY in love, then one would assume you are mature enough to WAIT until you are old enough to be TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your actions. Are you??? Don't think so. WAIT and you will be so glad that you did. But if you decide to "go ahead" anyways - then for goodness sake protect yourselves against any really unwanted consequences of your actions.
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A
female
reader, Prudence  +, writes (4 March 2008):
Hi Chrisj,
While I'm glad that protection is foremost in your mind, (and bearing in mind that there are far worse fates than pregnancy!) I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you the old-fashioned answer.
At 14, no one is ready for a sexual relationship, nomatter how deeply in love they are. For emotional reasons I would advise against it, but I know you won't understand this now, so I'll give you a practical reason to wait: a condom, in fact any form of sexual protection, is not a guarantee that your girlfriend won't get pregnant. They can break, slip off, slip though, etc. Please don't take a risk when you know you wouldn't be able to handle the outcome if it all goes horribly wrong.
In the meantime, I'm delighted you've found someone you love!
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (4 March 2008):
 no. no it is not ok.
if you do you will be sent to jail for underage sex.
love... define this "love" you speak of.
i always laugh when people say " So we're so in love so we're going to have sex"
since when did people have to be in love to have sex?
And since when does being in love mean you're ready to have sex? or that " well honey, we're in love now.....bend over."
i'd once met a girl who for the reasons and situation is was. we were both single. we both liked each other and had feeligns for each other. but for the situation we couldn't have sex. not due to stds or anyhting like that.
choices of sexuality.
She ment the world to me. and i did love her. how did i know it was love? because i could have spent the rest of my days with her and been content with never having sex with her.
So i ask you. Why do you think you are ready for sex?
Why now that you're in love with your gf you both must have sex?
and if you don't wear a rubber i will hunt you down and cut it off.
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A
female
reader, Jmo  +, writes (4 March 2008):
 At least in my personal opinion, the age at which you are comfortable being sexually active, is irrelevant. You could be 13 or 35, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that you (and your partner) are comfortable with it. Just make sure (seeing as how you asking this question implies a little bit of apprehension) that BOTH you and your girl feel the same way about having sex. The last thing you want out of a relationship with someone you love is to engage in an act that's supposed to bring two people closer, only to make things awkward afterwards. Hope this helps.
-Jmo
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A
female
reader, O Connor +, writes (4 March 2008):
 well if it was me i don't know if i would - but thats probably because i didnt have a real, loving relationship until later. but the things is - you have to remember that you are both still so young and sex brings alot of new emotions into a relationship. you both must be sure that you are both responsible enough to go through with it, and also be resposible enough to use protection and approach it with maturity. but hun, to be honest i would advise you to wait another while until you are 15 even. 14 is very young to have sex, and while you think that you are both mature and ready enough to have sex, you may not be. if you want more help just email me good luck xxx
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