A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Although i want to have a relationship in which i really feel things, that doesn't happen. I am with someone because i don't want to be alone completely but i don't really feel things for him. He usually annoys me without doing something faulty usually. I can't really explain why i am feeling annoyed with him. In parallel i have other friends with whom i share feelings and i have good time with them but there isn't a prospect with them for different reasons.So i am in a relationship with someone i don't have really interest and with whom we are trying to have a baby but nothing happens all the process is mechanical i would say. I don't see for the moment something encouraging. I have the fear that and this man would let me alone and i could explain this because i don't have feelings for him and i wonder if he has feelings for me. I don't think its his fault or my fault, i think we are absolutely incompatible. Do you think that i could get over somehow all these or just follow and leave things as there are? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers. They make me realizing some things. I'm thinking about them. I haven't decided anything yet. It's really difficult to decide.I have conflicting thoughts. In any case i wouldn't make hurried movements that would make me regret, i need time to sort things. Thanks again!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2015): Every relationship has its value to those invested. Sometimes people aren't truly a romantic couple; however, the companionship they share gives them the benefit of someone to share their time and activities; or they offer each other moral support. Maybe even help each other out financially, something just above roommates. This usually happens between couples much older than yourself. However; this can range in any age-group. The difference is, they are civil and kind to each other. Respectful of the others feelings, and their connection is warm and affectionate.
I don't think it is fair to use him as merely a sperm donor, which is truly the case. He may assume he will have some involvement in the parenting of a child, if you should become pregnant. I think you are losing patience because you're not getting pregnant, and you are getting a bit anxious to move on to a more traditional romance. You acknowledge you're annoyed. You're tire of him. Plain and simple. He has no more use to you; so you're now becoming resentful of his presence in your life.
I'm not sure why you would want to have a child with someone you don't care for. Don't you realize having his child will keep him in your life for the rest his natural life? You don't even like him. If he fathers a child, you can't just hand him his walking papers and say you're done. He can fight for his parental/paternal rights. So before you think you can use someone as a free sperm donor and flip a coin whether to keep them around; bear all this in mind.
My suggestion is to stop trying to have a child with him. Let him go, and find yourself a real relationship; and not continue using him as a chaperone until you find something better.
Without shame, you even admit that you're using him to fill an empty slot; just so you're not lonely. Is that really fair?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (11 September 2015):
Yes.....
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