A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I had been seeing a guy for 4 years and things started going wrong after a few years, then out of the blue he told me to leave (i lived with him) because he needed a break. I then find out a few months later he had seen another girl but not while he was with me, that was nearly a year ago, he's kept in contact with me all this time and says he wants to start again but take things slowly which i agree with but he never seems to have time for me (he has his own business) I love him so much but how can i keep doing this to myself as i spend most of my time down in the dumps and upset over it. What can i do?
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female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (2 April 2006):
I think you are basically answering your own question really as this man has treated you badly in the past and the old chestnut about taking things slowly means to say that he wants to keep his options open so instead of you living with him he can see other women when you are not around.
Don't do this to yourself, you may well love him very much but don't be a doormat.
Leopards do not change their spots as I tried to believe in my ex but after almost 20 years, little things used to happen and then the almighty bomb hit with a 2 and a half year affair and it started when my daughter was 7 months old.
Men like to think they can constantly attract females and just draw back and don't let this man continually hurt you, you are worth so much more than that.
Surround yourself with female friends and keep yourself busy and not available for him. There is life after your ex's you know.
Just don't be anybody's fool that's all. There are a lot of decent men out there as well you know.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2006): I think you should move on, if someone has no time for me, he is not yours, do not forget, this is his second chance, if he couldnot prove his love by spending more time with you, that is not your fault, that is a signal that he has not that strong desire to be with you. I am in the same situation, and I want to break up and move on.
Be strong and you know, you deserve better!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2006): Please move on with your life. You seem to be putting it on hold waiting for him. Go out with your friends more etc...but do start making changes in your life.NOW.
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