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We are supposed to be serious, so why do I have to wait until the weekends till I hear from him?

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance, Online dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 October 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 27 October 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi i need some male advice.

I met this guy on the internet a month ago. We had a great first date, and i ended up staying 4 days at his.

it was really nice, we cooked each other meals, he took me in to work in the morning. It was like a relationship.

Since then weve seen each other once a week every sunday, and during the week he doesnt contact me at all, he ignores my messages and doesnt make much effort.

I know hes really busy as hes a PE teacher and has a lot of fixtures outside school hours, but is it too much to ask to get one text in seven days?

I sent him a naughty text the other day, and he didnt even replY!!!

When we first met, i told him i was looking for a serious relationship and not a f**k buddy, and he said he wanted the same. On his profile page when i met him online, it even said he only wanted a serious relationship.

Why is he ignoring me so much then?

Ive left stuff at his house, should i just give up, go and collect my things and wak away? or will he contact me eventually?

is 7 days not long in a guys mind?

View related questions: text, the internet

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007):

Honey I would tell him if you don't call me or talk to me at all during the week we are over.

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A female reader, loriegirl United States +, writes (25 October 2007):

loriegirl agony auntHi, sorry sweetie, but If he was really interested in you he would call you at least once a day or at least respond to your texts every now and then. I think thats rude of him not responding to your texts...I met my boyfriend on line also. We have been together for 7 months now. We live 4 hours apart and only see each other every other weekend, But he calls me every single day about 5, 6 or 7 times a day!!! We talk when ever we find a chance from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep. We feel very close to eachother because we communicate so often. Not to mention the texting in between. It could be that your BF is not interested Or Just like someone said, Maybe he is looking for a serious relationship, BUT he is not going to fall for the first person he meets, he is going to want to start off slowly by dating and getting to know you first. Its just going to take time. Then he is going to decide whether you are the one or not. In my relationship It took 2 weeks for us to tell each other I love you! But every relationship is very different. We just happened to click right away. But in your case I would probably try him out a bit longer, and see if anything changes for the better or if you notice it getting worse, just dump him. Im sure you will find someone you will click with someday. This is what i say....... God wants us to meet a few wrong people before we meet the RIGHT ONE, so that when you finally meet the right person you will know how to be greatful with eachother.......

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007):

Yeah. 7 days is VERY long in a guys mind. A guy who really likes you will contact you everyday, especially after the first few dates and especially after you slept over his house. That is if he really likes you.

So I would take his distance as a sign that he is just not that into you. I mean he may want a serious relationship but just because that is what he wants doesn't automatically mean that he wants that with you. Like just because I want a serious relationship does not mean I am going to jump into a serious relationship with the first person who comes along. I am going to have to date a bit and when I meet someone that I am actually crazy about THEN I am going to pursue something serious with that particular person. Guys are the same way. He dated you but you are not the one for him, for whatever reason (if you were he would be all over you). So he is going to keep dating.

So from now on, remember that whenever a guy doesn't make a serious effort to be with you, (calls everyday, wants to be with you all the time), then take it as a clear sign that he is just not that into you and move on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thankyou for your reply, i tried to rate it but licked on poor by mistake, but i dont think your answer is poor honest!!!

it was very helpful, so you are going through the same thing? poor you! what are you doing about your situation? xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007):

Wow ! sounds like my life, I know how you feel becasue i am going through the same thing. He's not worth your time hunny. It hurts to give up the one you love, but sometimes, we have to do just that. Don't contact him for a while, lets see for how long he would not contact you. Maybe he changed his mind and maybe he's looking for someother quality that he don't see in you. I maybe wrong but when you talk to him, ask him to be open and honest with you.Sorry that you are going through this. I hope that he comes around and everything works out just fine.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (22 October 2007):

rcn agony auntSo you told him you weren't looking for just a wam bam thank you mam relationship. I hope you didn't tell him what you were looking for first. If you did, I want you to play this little game. Put the answer "me too" at the end of each sentence.

(1) I'm looking for a long term relationship.

(2) I want a one night stand.

(3) I want pickles with my ice cream.

(4) I want a big mac with large ff.

If you answered me too to the end of each of those, you're not only the perfect mate, but you also like the same food I like and the pregnant delicacy I like too. (i really don't eat #3).

You can see if you give information first, how easy it is to build an attraction. Next time you talk to him, go over again what you're looking for, but ask him the questions to see if any differ from when you first got together.

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