A
female
age
41-50,
*s Kay
writes:I am in love with a married man and he is in love with me. We just had a child together. He tells me he love his wife because they have been together for over 10 years, but I find him with me everyday, allday. He tells me that he is very unhappy in his marriage and is staying there for his children. His wife knows who I am but is unaware that my child is his... WHAT SHOULD I DO....
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): Which means that the times that he is with you and your child he is neglecting his other children. I dont know how you got into the situation but it seems that you are happy for it to stay the way it is? Dont you want him all to yourself? He is still sleeping with his wife you know, despite what he tells you. It sounds like he is a great father to his children - but you are far from a family.
A
female
reader, Ms Kay +, writes (22 October 2007):
Ms Kay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe takes care of my child and I receive child support every month... We have family outing on the regular.... We treats my child no different then the other ones...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): He is not going to leave her unless she throws him out. I assume he is not paying you child support either, since his wife doesn't even know that he has a child with you. What you need to do is tell his wife asap. File for child support with the courts. Get government assistance and be a single mother & try to raise your child the best way you can. If the father wants visitation rights, I guess you'll have to let him have them. Maybe furthur down the line you'll meet a man who can be a father to your child, one who is not a lieing cheating a**hole who uses women. I really don't feel sorry for you either, you should have had the good sense to know that if a man is in a realtionship or married, especially with kids, you stay the hell away. For his family's sake and for your own sake. I really can't believe that women who do this actually think the man is going to leave his family for her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): Sadly for you and your baby its going to be the same old record you hear playing every time you meet - the one where he is only staying for the sake of the kids!! He is staying because is basically having cake and eating it too!!! You have to be strong for the sake of the child. Let him have access to the child but don't continue on the relationship wiht him as its not goin to go any further. Maybe another child down the line and more heartache - is it worth it all at the end of the day?If his marriage was so unhappy why would he have stayed together with his wife for the last number of years?!?! Think about it...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): Right or wrong, it is a difficult and sad situation. I am married and I would not like if my husband has another woman,, especially with a child, but I know also what's it like, to be inlove with someone.Love has no boundaries and unfortunately, you fell inlove with someone who's married. I feel sorry for both the wife and you.She doesn't know and you are also hurting.The situation is as it is already, so I hope that he takes care of you, along with his family.Don't be hard on him, becasue you knew that he has a family, . You are now going to have to be very patient and understanding. His wife is totally innocent to all this ,you have to give her the first preference all the time.Please be strong, it;s what you have to do. I am a big believer in love, and because of this love, you are going to have to bear a lot of difficulties. I do wish you happiness, and hope that your guy supports his family and suports you too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): I would have to agree that this situation is far from ideal. That he feeds you lines to keep you in toe, you had his child so at some point you either accepted that the relationship would stay this way forever or truely believed that he would leave his wife.
You say he is with you all day - so he doesnt work and support the kids he has brought into the world? I would seriously re think your life and the environment you want your child brought up in. What happens when it is older and cant understand why daddy goes off to be with another family.
If he was going to leave his wife for you he would have done it by now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): You need to bring up your child as a single parent for now. His wife should really know that her husband has a child with someone else - and soon. Her children and yours are related - half brother/sister. There is twice as much pain if people continue to live a lie. You may find his wife chucks him out. If this is the case I wonder whether you would really want him? I mean.... he'd 'have' to be with you then wouldn't he rather than actually wanting to be. Hardly the best start to a relationship - being forced into it. This man is a total coward. Why do you want to be with a guy that treats women with no respect? He is using you and I cannot imagine how he sleeps at night with that kind of lie. You need to concentrate on your child I think this man has had plenty of your attention for now don't you?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 October 2007):
 You should get used to the idea that you will be a single mother. I hope he is giving you child support. If he says he loves his wife but is unhappy in his marriage, it's a crock and you are a sucker if you believe it. I feel very sorry for all the children involved. I have however no sympathy for you or your dilemma, you brought it on yourself.
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