A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met my girlfriend just under three years ago, at the time i was in an unhappy relationship of about 9 years, and when we met the whole cliche happened... fireworks, sleepless nights, shortness of breath upon even seeing her in the street. We both left our relationships and got together, and I have been happy ever since, the cliches haven't stopped. A few weeks ago she told me that whilst she loved me and always would, she wasn't in love with me, and that she thought it would be better if we seperated. The whole situation is made harder by the fact that i earn a low wage and that i live in a small town purely for her job, my parents have separated and i couldn't afford to 'go it alone' but more than that, i love her to pieces. I can't understand how her feelings have changed so dramatically after the wonderful time we have spent together. I managed to convince her that she should give it until October when we plan to go on holiday together, and that this would be fair to me in order to see if anything changed; however I know it is over, especially after a further discussion at the weekend.The problem i am having is letting go, we are still in the relationship, she has promised to wait until October but i know hand on heart that nothing will change; however no amount of advice telling me i am doing the wrong thing by clinging on will help here, I simply am not ready yet to say goodbye. I've looked for reasons and there aren't any. She says she hasn't met anybody else and I know that she is telling the absolute truth when she says this. In a way it's harder... she just doesn't want to be with me. I just wondered if there were any thoughts out there, i really can't see a way to deal with this. And again, please don't advise me to end it now, besides the fact that i'm not ready, we have to still share our house together.
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male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (19 September 2008):
 It breaks my heart to see things like this.
I am not going to give you any advice but share with you what I've learn from a very interesting book.
The author of the book says that there's 5 different love languages and that in other for a spouse to feel love, you must talk that spouse's love languages as often as possible in order to fill her "Love tank".
The reason why you're still in love with her is probably because she was speaking your love language all the time but you weren't.
The book also says that if there's love once, in most cases, it comes back when speaking the right love language.
I recommend that book to you.
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