| A ,
anonymous
writes: The other night I had the police at my door yet again and no before you ask kids no it was me and my bloke. We have been together since june 2005. Everthing seemed great till about 4 mnths ago then we ordered the pc then it all went downhill.I found out that he had posted himself and me on all the sites he could. After a blazing row he left. He blamed it on my drinking and yes i do have a problem with drink, but I dont drink all the time, I binge drink under stress and at the time i knew he was up to something but couldnt put my finger on it. Until one day by chance came across all the sites he had been on. They werent nice sites F**k machine wi**d pussy etc. But after a couple of weeks I agreed to him coming back. At that time I was going to relate (marriage guidance) to get some help. I was also undergoing therapy for my drinking. Plus I was and still am on anti-depressants from the doc. When he came back i swore i would change and have he has sanwiches plus chicken of his choice ie tandori , hot and spicy, kentucky,bbq, every day, crisps chocalate cheese etc every day. The house is immaculate, his washing is done everyday, (daily) he has a hot meal daily either chicken steak pork or lamb.This went on for around 7 weeks without complaint then the other day he typed in his name and there he was in full glory to the world what he had done. Please dont get me wrong i aint an angel i have a past aswell but when he bragged about it i saw red and went at him, like he did to me, unfortunately i came off worst and have got terrible bruises so much so that my employer asked me what was wrong with my back and because my back has so many bruises she has signed me off the job until later notice. Im ashamed to say he has talked me back round yet again and tonight in front of my face he was chatting someone else up and instead of saying take him i dont need this shit I said are you commin with me now. Oh God what a wimp, i tried to pack his clothes and only did 4 t shirts before i gave in. i hate myself so much for giving in, the only reason i have come on here tonight is to get help. Please dont blame me for falling in love with a jerk(which he is) and before you all condem me he wasnt like this until we had the net instaled. im so sorry for troubling you with my question x
View related questions:
the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2006):
I'd like to ask the bf if she is infact cooking a presentable lamb roast weekly. If so, thats a pretty sweet deal....
To the girl- I am not saying that you never got hit or that everything is your fault. But frankly your question said that you got physical first and you really dont seem blameless. Usually the other part never sees the responses so its kind of pointless to give advice to them. I think you have pleanty to work on with yourself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionif your gonna tell a story then get the facts right will you. the sites you saw were some of what you had looked at whilst drunk, i was not chatting another girl up in front of your face, in fact you tried to sell her some hair products and as for my tea on the table every night for seven weeks. HA . who are you kidding. try 2. its a bit closer. you amaze me cuz you can answer everyone elses problems on here but not your own.......... from your loving partner......
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the male annon writter have you ever been battered no not a drunken fight out side a club or a mess around with mates have you ever had someone (im 5 foot 4 him 6 foot 2) me 8 and half stone him 14 stone lashing down on you raining punches kicks nto your body try it you arse
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2006):
Stop blamming the internet and the tandori chicken.
*You* attacked him. Thats what I read.
You are popping pills and binge drinking.
You will lose your job and end up in jail at this rate.
This isnt an internet problem- this is a you problem. In order to fix the problem you first have to identify the correct one. My recommendation is that you move back in with your folks and work on yourself. By saying you "aint and angle" you have given yourself way to much premission to be wild.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2006): Did Mom suffer low self esteem? Which parent taught you that this is what love is like? How much abuse, neglect, emotional, mental, or physical did you suffer in your youth?
Even if you had parents that were present physically but not there for you emotionally...you still suffered abuse and neglect.
You are caught up in replaying the same roles you experienced and witness as a child.
You do this in hopes you will have a different outcome where Man ( man who represents mom or dad, grandma, aunt, uncle, cousing, sibling who neglected you and ill treated you) will smarten up and love and appreciate you that way you have always longed for; the way EVERY HUMAN BEING deserves...and Sweetie...you are subconciously setting yourself up for failure as a part of you believes that is all you deserve.
You couldn't be more farther from the truth.
He knows you don't love and respect yourself and that is why he choose you. He is even doing this after you told him how much it hurts you and the damage it does to you. That isn't love Sweetie. He isn't capable of loving you. He isn't going to change. He will take delight in seeing you suffer and rot and it will get scarier and more hellish if you do not toss him out.
Stay in counselling and surround yourself with those who can support you and guide you.
You don't love him; you love your parents and family which you never really had. You are just projecting what it is you miss and long for onto him.
Please get strong. Please believe in yourself. Please see that you are a beatiful woman with a beautiful spirit and that you deserve happiness like any other person you see on the street. No one deserves it more than you do. You deserve it too.
*hugs*
...............................
A
female
reader, midgetgem +, writes (18 November 2006):
 My darlin I'm gonna give you advice you're not gonna wanna hear.
I've been a battered girlfriend on more than one occassion and I can tell you this much .... no matter how much they tell you that they're gonna change, they ain't gonna change.
You're probably hearing this from numerous sources now but PLEASE, take it from one who knows. I 'loved' the men who did this to me too but a violent man is a violent man, you ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE THAT. The more you accept violent behaviour from him the more acceptable it becomes to him and so it becomes an ever INCREASING circle.
The violence will only get worse if you stay. PLEASE leave him while you can. I do not condemn you for falling in love with a jerk, I only question your wisdom. If you do have the strength to leave him I'm sure you'll find, as I have, a man who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
i am here for you whenever you need someone to talk to.
...............................
|
