A
female
age
,
*ainebow
writes:Hi I am 61 years old my husband is the same age. He has trouble keeping an erection but he tries he says it's do to his blood pressure. We have only been marriedx for 7 months now i know he likes porno. I have watched it with him What bothers me is that I found he was watching it alone. I was at work and he never told me. should i be mad and confront him?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 May 2017):
 It is okay to talk to him about it, but don't be mad because he hasn't actually done anything wrong. He has watched some porn not went out and had an affair. I can understand why you would be frustrated if you have no sex life. If he is having issues then he should really go and see a doctor who can prescribe him something to help him.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 May 2017):
 If he thinks his blood pressure is an issue then insist on seeing a cardiologist for a complete workup. The porn is a separate issue. It sounds as if he's trying to find an answer to performance issues in the bed that might not be blood pressure related. He's in a dilemma. He could use a supportive guidance.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2017): Suggest that your husband see his doctor. He may need a prescription for his erectile-dysfunction. He may be using his blood-pressure as an excuse; but you are aware that he masturbates to porn. You've watched with him. Does he get and maintain a full-erection when viewing porn?
You may confront him as previously advised. It may not make him stop. He'll just be more clever about hiding it.
If confronting him is to embarrass or to admonish him; only remember you are not scolding a child.
Tell him how it hurts your feelings and remind him that it seems to directly effect his sexual-performance. That concerns you as his wife. That is full justification for your concern. Viewing porn is a choice. Many men like and view it. Many women hate that they do. It's not going anywhere, it's too easily accessible.
When he was single; masturbation was a substitute and his only recourse. It is now a habit he has to curb or break.
That might not be very easy.
Old-habits are hard to break. If he really loves you, he has to make you happy. Be sure to say that out-loud for him to hear those words.
He's an older-guy now. He may need pills for help; if his health allows for it. A doctor will let him know.
It never really helps to advise women about men who watch pornography. Some things men will do in privacy. If he wanted to have real-sex, it would be with you. It's sometimes embarrassing to masturbate in-front of others. It is a private/secret indulgence for most men. Women too! To watch with him makes him feel like he's being monitored or judged. So he'll hide it to maintain the privacy and secrecy; which adds to the enjoyment.
If he's addicted to it, he might require mental-health therapy. Just because a man likes it, doesn't mean he is addicted. Men can masturbate without it. Taking away porn will not stop him from doing something totally natural.
In my opinion, "confrontation" really won't help. Giving him a tongue-lashing might make you feel better; but it will not solve your problem. You have to have a serious discussion and ask if he can put the porn aside; until he has seen his doctor about his erections. Then you can both determine if a pill is all he needs.
If this man is stubborn, and refuses to compromise and put you first. You simply married the wrong man. Perhaps you might consider an annulment. You have to see an attorney to determine what statutes apply in your state.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2017): You knew he liked it before you got married so don't complain now ...you can have a conversation about it and how it makes you feel but I suspect he does it to rev his engine and if it fails the ladies on the porno won't judge him
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A
female
reader, Theworrying  +, writes (23 May 2017):
Right yes confront him we dont know what he could be doing behind the screens ask him get him to explain and have a one on 2 convertsiotn
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