We are having a baby, but hes not as involved as I would like and I feel he doesnt care!!

I am 6 months pregnant. The father is someone I knew as a friend for 6 yrs., but then we started seeing each other and a month later, I got pregnant. He knew I wasn't on birth control and we weren't using protection, and I told him that I was probably going to get pregnant if we kept on, and he didn't seem bothered by it. I moved in w/ him, then we moved to a place closer to his work. I am losing my job this weekend, the place is closing down. I am stressed out b/c he pays rent and etc. but says he never has money for things for the baby. He has even said that there's a chance he thinks that the baby isn't his. That isn't true. He believes that because we were just seeing each other and we weren't together exclusively. I tell him there's no chance it could be anyone else's and I want to get the paternity test but it's around a thousand dollars and I doubt he'll pay for it. I don't even know if he's going to sign the paper so the baby has his last name. He never talks to me about the baby, he never buys anything that she will need, when I talk about needing things for her he acts like I'm being stupid, and he said what else does she need other than food and diapers? It really angers me that he doesn't feel the want to protect her and provide for her like I do, and the way I think he should. If I were making the kind of money he does, which isn't bad, I would go and get her everything. But I am out of work after this week and barely making my own bills as it is. I am confused b/c he wants to name her middle name after his mom and grandmother, but then he acts totally distant when I talk about the baby. I can't tell what he feels about this and he won't tell me, other than what I've said already. I think about leaving all the time b/c I think he is going to be emotionally void twords her like he is me. He has said he loves me and that I don't have anything to worry about and he wouldn't leave, etc. but am I being selfish expecting him to be involved, and want to have her everything she needs? Every time I try to talk about it, he says I'm over-reacting and that I shouldn't expect anything from other people, such as at my baby shower. But he won't provide it b/c he's supposively always broke, and I'm not going to be working b/c I am going to be taking care of her all day. I thought he would at least say something like "if we don't get everything we need after the baby shower, I will buy it" but he says stuff like "she doesn't need anything and what do you think, she's going to sleep out in the cold?" he says he pays the bills, but if I weren't here, he'd be paying the same bills. He never gives me any money at all. I want him to act like a father, and provide for us...and to want to. But it seems like we're just a burden on him and I always wonder why he's even letting me stay here. I'm so confused and angry at the same time. I just don't know what to feel. I am supposed to meet his mom at Christmas this weekend, and I am debating even going at all because he seems so uninvolved with his own baby, so why should I go over there and act like everything is great and we're happy and try to get to know his family? I would appreciate especially a man's perspective on this.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006):

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006):

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